My Younger Self

My name is Michelle Paula Akute, an energy planner and engineer passionate about sustainable development and renewable energy. But long before the titles and responsibilities, I was simply a young girl trying to find her place in the world.

As a student at Alliance Girls High School, I believed that if I worked hard enough, everything would fall into place. What I did not realize was that hard work also comes with pressure — the pressure to perform, to excel, to never disappoint. I rarely gave myself permission to struggle openly.

Choosing Electrical and Electronic Engineering at the University of Nairobi was one of my earliest tests of courage. I walked into lecture halls where women were few, and expectations were high. I remember moments of doubt — quiet moments when I wondered if I truly belonged there. Engineering was demanding, and it stretched me intellectually and emotionally.

One lesson I learned early is that belonging is not about how many people look like you in a room. It is about knowing you have earned your seat at the table.

Self-doubt became another challenge. Even when I was doing well, there were times I questioned myself. Was I truly capable? Was I just lucky? Over time, I discovered that confidence is not something you wake up with one day. It is built slowly — through preparation, through persistence, and through choosing to show up even when you feel unsure.

When I pursued my Master’s degree at the University of Flensburg, I faced a different kind of stretching. Moving into an international academic environment pushed me beyond what was familiar. I had to adapt to new systems, new perspectives, and sometimes new ways of thinking. It was uncomfortable at times — but it expanded my vision. I began to see that energy planning was not just technical work; it was about communities, sustainability, and the future of our planet.

Returning home to work at Kenya Power and Lighting Company, I started quietly. I learned. I observed. I made mistakes. I grew. Leadership did not happen overnight. It developed gradually — through discipline, integrity, and consistency. I learned that preparation matters more than position, and that listening carefully can be more powerful than speaking loudly.

There were seasons when progress felt slow. Seasons when I felt the weight of responsibility. Seasons when balancing ambition and self-compassion was difficult. But every challenge taught me something valuable: resilience is built in the unseen moments.

Looking back, I realize I spent too much time worrying about whether I was enough. The truth is, growth is not dramatic. It is steady. It is quiet. It is built one decision at a time.

To the young person reading this — especially the young woman wondering if she belongs in science, engineering, leadership, or any space that feels intimidating — I want you to hear this clearly:

You belong.

You do not need to have everything figured out.

You do not need to be fearless.

You only need to take the next step with courage.

There will be challenges. There will be doubts. But those moments do not disqualify you — they develop you.

Trust your preparation.

Stay curious.

Stay grounded.

And most importantly, do not shrink yourself to fit into spaces that were never meant to limit you.

Your journey may feel uncertain now, but one day you will look back and realize that every challenge was shaping you for something meaningful.

With love and gratitude,
Your future self,
Michelle Paula Akute