Sometimes, to become successful and get closer to the person we can become, we don’t need to add more things — we need to give up on some of them. There are certain things that are universal, which will make you successful if you give up on them, even though each one of us could have a different definition of success. You can give up on some of them today, while it might take a bit longer to give up on others.
1. Give Up On The Unhealthy Lifestyle.
“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.” — Jim Rohn
If you want to achieve anything in life, everything starts here. First you have to take care of your health, and there are only two things you need to keep in mind:
1. Healthy Diet.
2. Physical Activity.
…Small steps, but you will thank yourself one day.
2. Give Up The Short-term Mindset.
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” — Mae West
Successful people set long-term goals, and they know these aims are merely the result of short-term habits that they need to do every day. These healthy habits shouldn’t be something you do; they should be something you embody. There is a difference between: “Working out to get a summer body” and “Working out because that’s who you are.”
3. Give Up On Playing Small.
“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone, and as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson
If you never try and take great opportunities, or allow your dreams to become realities, you will never unleash your true potential. And the world will never benefit from what you could have achieved. So voice your ideas, don’t be afraid to fail, and certainly don’t be afraid to succeed.
4. Give Up Your Excuses.
“It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand.”― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture
Successful people know that they are responsible for their life, no matter their starting point, weaknesses, and past failures.
Realising that you are responsible for what happens next in your life is both frightening and exciting. And when you do, that becomes the only way you can become successful, because excuses limit and prevent us from growing personally and professionally.
Own your life; no one else will.
5. Give Up The Fixed Mindset.
“The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.” ― Robert Greene, Mastery
People with a fixed mindset think their intelligence or talents are simply fixed traits, and that talent alone creates success — without effort. They’re wrong.
Successful people know this. They invest an immense amount of time on a daily basis to develop a growth mindset, acquire new knowledge, learn new skills and change their perception so that it can benefit their lives.
Remember, who you are today, it’s not who you have to be tomorrow.
6. Give Up Believing In The “Magic Bullet.”
“Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better” — Émile Coué
Overnight success is a myth.
Successful people know that making small continual improvement every day will be compounded over time, and give them desirable results. That is why you should plan for the future, but focus on the day that’s ahead of you, and improve just 1% every day.
7. Give Up Your Perfectionism.
“Shipping beats perfection.” — Kahn Academy’s Development Mantra
Nothing will ever be perfect, no matter how much we try.
Fear of failure (or even fear of success) often prevents us from taking an action and putting our creation out there in the world. But a lot of opportunities will be lost if we wait for the things to be right.
So “ship,” and then improve (that 1%).
8. Give Up Multi-tasking.
“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.” ― Winston S. Churchill
Successful people know this. That’s why they choose one thing and then beat it into submission. No matter what it is — a business idea, a conversation, or a workout.
Being fully present and committed to one task, is indispensable.
9. Give Up Your Need to Control Everything.
“Some things are up to us, and some things are not up to us.” — Epictetus, Stoic philosopher
Differentiating these two is important.
Detach from the things you cannot control, and focus on the ones you can, and know that sometimes, the only thing you will be able to control is your attitude towards something.
Remember, “Nobody can be frustrated while saying “Bubbles” in an angry voice”.
10. Give Up On Saying YES To Things That Don’t Support Your Goals.
“He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly.” — James Allen
Successful people know that in order to accomplish their goals, they will have to say NO to certain tasks, activities, and demands from their friends, family, and colleagues. In the short-term, you might sacrifice a bit of instant gratification, but when your goals come to fruition, it will all be worth it.
11. Give Up The Toxic People.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”― Jim Rohn
People we spend the most time with, add up to who we become.
There are people who are less accomplished in their personal and professional life, and there are people who are more accomplished than us. If you spend time with those who are behind you, your average will go down, and with it, your success. But if you spend time with people who are more accomplished than you, no matter how challenging that might be, you will become more successful.
Take a look at around you, and see if you need to make any changes.
12. Give Up Your Need To Be Liked.
“The only way to avoid pissing people off is to do nothing important.” — Oliver Emberton
Think of yourself as a market niche.
There will be a lot of people who like that niche, and there will be individuals who don’t. And no matter what you do, you won’t be able to make the entire market like you.
This is entirely natural, and there’s no need to justify yourself. The only thing you can do is to remain authentic, improve and provide value every day, and know that the growing number of “haters” means that you are doing important things.
13. Give Up Your Dependency on Social Media & Television.
“The trouble is, you think you have time” — Jack Kornfield
Impulsive web browsing and television watching are diseases of today’s society. These two should never be an escape from your life or your goals. Unless your goals depend on either, you should minimise (or even eliminate) your dependency on them, and direct that time towards things that can enrich your life.
When you plan and prepare carefully, you can legitimately expect to
have success in your efforts. When you recognize and develop the
winning qualities that you were born with, the winner you were born to
be emerges. When you plan and prepare to make a sale, for example, you
can legitimately expect to make a sale. Although not all your
expectations are going to come to pass, you give yourself an
infinitely better chance of succeeding by taking the proper steps.
Regardless of your goal–losing weight, making more sales, furthering
your education, earning a promotion, saving money for a new home or an
exotic vacation–you can expect to achieve your goal if you plan and
prepare for it.
Also understand that the path from where you are to where you want to
be is not always smooth and straight. The reason for the twists and
bumps is simple, and it has nothing to do with you. It has more to do
with the fact that not everyone is as interested in your success as
you are. Some people may accidentally hinder your efforts; others who
are in competition with you and have little or no integrity may try to
sabotage your efforts.
Keep in mind, though, that when you hit those roadblocks your
character, commitment, and attitude are the determining factors in
your success… Carefully review your plan of action, seek wise
counsel, and be particularly careful to feed your mind good
information. An optimistic, positive mind is far more likely to come
up with creative solutions than a mind that dwells on setbacks and
difficulties.
Bottom line: expect success and you can achieve it! You were born to
win, but to be a winner you must plan to win, prepare to win, and
expect to win.”
Do you remember how to spread the wings of your imagination wide and let your mind soar?
Don’t let the wear and tear of the day (or the years) clip your wings or bog you down.
Let’s dream big — Big dreams light your inner fire and provide the ongoing fuel for your burning desire.
You already know how to dream big … but maybe you forgot.
Just in case, I put together a deep collection of quotes to help you dream big, again.
Here are wise words from Ayn Rand, Edgar Allen Poe, Edison, Emerson, Jiminy Cricket, Mark Twain, Thoreau and more to help you remember how to dream big again and revive the art of the possible … YOUR possible.
Top 10 Dream Big Quotes
“Dreams come in a size too big so that we may grow into them.” — Josie Bisse
“Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.” — Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
“For once you have tasted flight you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skywards, for there you have been and there you will long to return.” — Leonard da Vinci
“It’s better to have an impossible dream than no dream at all.” – Anonymous
“Life is short, live bold! Be heard, be you, dream big, take risks, don’t wait.” – Misty Gibbs
“Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.” – Life’s Little Instructions
“No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big.” – Anonymous
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Henry Stanley Haskins
“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.” — Goethe
The Dream Big Quotes Collection
“A #2 pencil and a dream can take you anywhere.” — Joyce A. Myers
“A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch beaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself.” – Anonymous
“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. A goal is what specifically you intend to make happen. Dreams and goals should be just out of your present reach but not out of sight. Dreams and goals are coming attractions in your life.” — Joseph Campbell
“A great leader’s courage to fulfill his vision comes from passion, not position.” — John Maxwell
“A man’s dreams are an index to his greatness.” — Zadoc Rabinowitz
“Alice laughed. ‘There’s no use trying,’ she said. ‘One can’t believe impossible things.’ ‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen. ‘When I was your age, I always did it half an hour a day. Why, sometimes, I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’” — Lewis Carroll
“All big things in this world are done by people who are naïve and have an idea that is obviously impossible.” — Frank Richards
“All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.” — William Faulkner
“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” — Walt Disney
“All parents believe their children can do the impossible. They thought it the minute we were born, and no matter how hard we’ve tried to prove them wrong, they all think it about us now. And the really annoying thing is, they’re probably right.” — Cathy Guisewite
“All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.” – Brian Tracy
“All things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint. If you don’t make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default.” — Stephen Covey
“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” — Judy Garland
“Always dream and shoot higher than you know you can do. Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.” — William Faulkner
“Ask yourself, ‘How long am I going to work to make my dreams come true?’ I suggest you answer, ‘As long as it takes’.” — Jim Rohn
“At a time when opportunism is everything, when hope seems lost, when everything boils down to a cynical business deal, we must find the courage to dream. To reclaim romance. The romance of believing in justice, in freedom, and in dignity. For everybody.” — Arundhati Roy
“At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable.” – Christopher Reeve
“Be willing to be uncomfortable. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. It may get tough, but it’s a small price to pay for living a dream.” – Peter McWilliams
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” — Dr. Seuss
“Begin to free yourself at once by doing all that is possible with the means you have, and as you proceed in this spirit the way will open for you to do more.” — Robert Collier
“Believe this, ‘the higher you go, the further you see’ and also ‘the further you see the clearer you hear; the clearer you hear, the wiser you become’!” -? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!
“Believing in fate produces fate. Believing in freedom will create infinite possibilities.” — Ayn Rand
“Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing.” – Adolph Monod
“Books, to the reading child, are so much more than books–they are dreams and knowledge, they are a future, and a past.” — Esther Meynell
“Bravery and adventure! That’s the ticket! Don’t sit and gather moss. Get up, get out, do what you dream of doing, and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, and you don’t need to made that particular mistake again, but at least you won’t get old wondering what if you had.” — Garrison Keillo
“Capture your dreams and your life becomes full. You can, because you think you can.” – Nikita Koloff
“Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.” – Napoleon Hill
“Climb high; Climb far. Your goal the sky; Your aim the star.” — Inscription at Williams College
“Commit yourself to a dream . . . Nobody who tries to do something great but fails is a total failure. Why? Because he can always rest assured that he succeeded in life’s most important battle–he defeated the fear of trying.” — Robert H. Schuller
“Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the “right stuff” to turn our dreams into reality.” — James Womack
“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.” — Belva Davis
“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.” – Anonymous
“Don’t let anyone steal your dream. It’s your dream, not theirs.” — Dan Zadra
“Don’t live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.” – Wendy Wasserstein
“Dream and give yourself permission to envision a You that you choose to be.” — Joy Page
“Dream as if you’ll live forever… live as if you’ll die today.” — James Dean
“Dream big and see further! Sharpen your eyes; you have the eagle’s sight. Quicken your steps; you have the horse’s limbs. All that is a burden for others would be beaten several times by you!” ? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!
“Dream big dreams! Imagine that you have no limitations and then decide what’s right before you decide what’s possible.” — Brian Tracey
“Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.” – James Allen
“Dream your dreams with open eyes and make them come true.” — T. E. Lawrence
“Dreams are free, so free your dreams.” — Terri Guillemets
“Dreams are the touchstones of our character.” — Henry David Thoreau
“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” – Dr. Dale E. Turner
“Dreams come true; without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.” – John Updike
“Dreams, ideas, and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on.” — Steven Callahan
“Each one of us should lead a life stirring enough to start a movement.” — Max Lucado
“Either you let your life slip away by not doing the things you want to do, or you get up and do them.” — Roger Von Oech
“Even if you can’t just snap your fingers and make a dream come true, you can travel in the direction of your dream, every single day and you can shorten the distance between the two of you.” — Douglas Pagels
“Every dreamer works in violent disagreement with their times.” — Conway Stone
“Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. ” – Harriet Tubman
“Every great work, every big accomplishment, has been brought into manifestation through holding to the vision, and often just before the big achievement, comes apparent failure and discouragement.” — Florence Scovel Shinn
“Every life comes with a story … and a possibility for a great adventure.” — Kobi Yamada
“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.” — Louisa May Alcott
“For those who dare to dream, there is a whole world to win.” – Dhirubhai Ambani
“Great things are only possible with outrageous requests.” — Thea Alexander
“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.” —Albert Einstein
“He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Dream lofty dreams and as you dream so shall you become…” — James Allen
“Higher and higher who knows what we’ll find; And in the end on dreams we will depend; Cause that’s what love is made of.” — Van Halen
“Hold on to your dreams for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.” — Leo Buscaglia
“Hope and possibility best describe the art of teaching.” — Camille Banks Lee
“Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.” — L.J. Suenens
“I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” — Pablo Picasso
“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” — William Ernest Henley
“I dream, therefore I become.” — Cheryl Grossman
“I have had dreams, and I’ve had nightmares. I overcame the nightmares because of my dreams.” – Jonas Salk
“I learned that there were two ways I could live my life: following my dreams or doing something else. Dreams aren’t a matter of chance, but a matter of choice. When I dream, I believe I am rehearsing my future.” — David Copperfield
“I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.” — Thomas Jefferson
“I see myself living a life where I am not bound by the opinions others have of me, one where I no longer concern myself with the judgments of others, one in which I believe in myself and my talents, skills and capabilities. I imagine, and therefore bring about, a life where I do not need to justify my existence, where I am free to be who I really am.” — Michael Rawls
“I want to be all used up when I die.” — George Bernard Shaw
“If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less but to dream more, to dream all the time.” – Marcel Proust
“If everyone woke up tomorrow morning and said, “It’s possible; whatever it is, it’s possible,” and spent a whole day having an “it’s possible” day, then we would be going down the kind of road I’m interested in–because I do believe it is possible.” — John Bird
“If I can dream, I can act. And if I can act, I can become.” – Poh Yu Khing
“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!” — Soren Kierkegaard
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” – Henry David Thoreau
“If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.” — Vincent van Gogh
“If people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done.” — Ludwig Wittgenstein
“If reality can destroy dreams, then dreams can destroy reality.” — Conway Stone
“If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” — Thomas Alva Edison
“If you can dream it, you can do it.” – Walt Disney
“If you can imagine it, You can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.” – William Arthur Ward
“If you don’t build your dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs.” — Tony Gaskins
“If you don’t have a dream, how can you have a dream come true?” – Jiminy Cricket
“If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” — Henry David Thoreau
“If you take responsibility for yourself you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams.” – Les Brown
“If you try to guard yourself against every unlikely danger, you’ll never stretch beyond your comfort zone. Don’t let the ‘what-ifs’ run your life. Follow your dreams and have at it.” — Diane Conway
“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.” — Antoine de Saint-Exupery
“If you’re going to love someone or something then don’t be a slow leaking faucet—-be a hurricane.” ? Shannon L. Alder
“In our dreams lies our unfinished work for the world.” — Joan Chittister
“In response to those who say to stop dreaming and face reality, I say keep dreaming and make reality.” — Kristian Kan, Rich By 25
“In the long run, men hit only what they aim at. Therefore, they had better aim at something high.” — Henry David Thoreau
“Inside each of us are thoughts and beliefs that hinder our dreams from coming true.” — Conway Stone
“It doesn’t matter if we think we’re fearless or if we do things while quaking. The important thing is to be true to our own dreams and live authentic lives.” — Diane Conway
“It is in the quiet crucible of your personal, private sufferings that your noblest dreams are born and God’s greatest gifts are given.” — Wintley Phipps
“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” — Edmund Hillary
“It may be that those who do most, dream most.” – Stephen Butler Leacock
“It must be born in mind that the tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn’t a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity to not dream. It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for. Not failure but low aim is sin!” — Helmut Schmidt
“It sometimes seems that intense desire creates not only its own opportunities, but its own talents.” — Eric Hoffer
“It’s kind of fun to do the impossible!” — Walt Disney
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” — Hanoch McCarty
“I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas: they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.” — Emily Bronte
“Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there’s a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living.” – Anonymous
“Let your imagination release your imprisoned possibilities.” — Robert H. Schuller
“Let your smile change the world, but don’t let the world change your smile.” – Anonymous
“Let’s go invent tomorrow instead of worrying about what happened yesterday.” – Steve Jobs
“Life is not about discovering our talents; it is about pushing our talents to the limit and discovering our genius.” — Robert Brault
“Live by what you believe so fully that your life blossoms, or else purge the fear-and-guilt producing beliefs from your life. When people believe one thing and do something else, they are inviting misery. If you give yourself the name, play the game. When you believe something you don’t follow with your heart, intellect, and body, it hurts. Don’t do that to yourself. Live your belief, or let that belief go. If you are not actively living a belief, it’s not really your belief, anyway.” — John-Roger
“Look, there are no shortcuts in golf, and there are no shortcuts in life. You have to work for it. Dream big and keep your dreams for yourself. Because the dreams that you have are those things that separate you from others. If you give up your dream, you give up hope. And without hope, you are nothing.” — Tiger Woods
“Man walks the moon but his soul remains riveted to earth. Once upon a time it was the opposite.” — Elie Wiesel
“May your dreams defy the laws of gravity.” — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
“Most people never run far enough on their first wind, to find out if they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got, and you’ll be amazed at the energy that comes out of you.” — William James
“My theory has always been, that if we are to dream, the flatteries of hope are as cheap, and pleasanter, than the gloom of despair.” — Thomas Jefferson
“Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” — Earl Nightingale
“No one has ever achieved anything from the smallest to the greatest unless the dream was dreamed first.” —Laura Ingalls Wilder
“Nobody succeeds beyond his or her wildest expectations unless he or she begins with some wild expectations.” — Ralph Charell
“Not fulfilling your dreams will be a loss to the world, because the world needs everyone’s gift — yours and mine.” – Barbara Sher
“Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.” — Tom Clancy
“Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.” — Benjamin Disraeli
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.” — Henry Ford
“Often, what seems an impossible climb is just a staircase without the steps drawn in.” — Robert Brault
“Only he who can see the invisible can do the impossible.” — Frank Gaines
“Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.” — Terry Pratchett
“Organize your life around your dreams – and watch them come true.” – Anonymous
“Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.” — Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
“People think dreams aren’t real just because they aren’t made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes.” — Neil Gaiman
“People too weak to follow their own dreams will always find a way to discourage yours.” — Bob Mayer
“People who cannot invent and reinvent themselves must be content with borrowed postures, secondhand ideas, fitting in instead of standing out.” —Warren Bennis
“People’s dreams are made out of what they do all day. The same way a dog that runs after rabbits will dream of rabbits. It’s what you do that makes your soul, not the other way around.” — Barbara Kingsolver
“Promise yourself to live your life as a revolution and not just a process of evolution.” — Anthony J. D’Angelo
“See the bigger picture of yours and refuse the passport size creature that people think you are! Your nature is large; go for it. Feel free to wake up and print your bigger picture!” -? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!
“Self-esteem must be earned! When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream, dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts, and friction from the world, you will genuinely impress yourself.” — Dr. Laura Schlessinger
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” — Les Brown
“Some men see things as they are and say ‘why’? Others dream things that never were and say ‘why not’?” — George Bernard Shaw
“Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.” — Arnold H. Glasow
“That which is dreamed can never be lost, can never be undreamed.” — Neil Gaiman
“The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.” — Author Unknown
“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” — Oprah Winfrey
“The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.” – Thucydides
“The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer.” — Air Force motto
“The dream begins, most of the time, with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes with a sharp stick called truth.” — Dan Rathe
“The dream is not the destination but the journey.” — Diane Sawyer
“The dream is real, my friends. The failure to realize it is the only unreality.” — Toni Cade Bambara
“The entrepreneur is essentially a visualizer and an actualizer… He can visualize something, and when he visualizes it he sees exactly how to make it happen.” — Robert L. Schwartz
“The excitement, the true excitement, was always in starting again. Nothing’s worse than an accomplished task, a realized dream.” — Marilyn Harris
“The frontiers of our dreams always converge with reality.” — Gerd De Ley
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“The future you see is the future you get.” – Robert G Allen
“The idea is to seek a vision that gives you purpose in life and then to implement that vision. The vision by itself is one half, one part, of a process. It implies the necessity of living that vision, otherwise the vision will sink back into itself.” — Lewis P. Johnson
“The ideal life is in our blood and never will be still. Sad will be the day for any man when he becomes contented with the thoughts he is thinking and the deeds he is doing–where there is not forever beating at the doors of his soul some great desire to do something larger, which he knows that he was meant and made to do.” — Phillips Brooks
“The impossible is often the untried.” — Jim Goodwin
“The more you can dream, the more you can do.” — Michael Korda
“The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold.” — Kahlil Gibran
“The only limits are, as always, those of vision.” — James Broughton
“The permanent temptation of life is to confuse dreams with reality. The permanent defeat of life comes when dreams are surrendered to reality.” — James Michener
“The problem isn’t that I think so highly of myself. It is just that you think so little of yourself. Live life BIG, BOLD and OUT LOUD!” ? Shannon L. Alder
“The shell must break before the bird can fly.” — Alfred Tennyson
“The visible is only the shoreline of the magnificent ocean of the invisible.” — John O’Donohue
“The vision that you glorify in your mind, the ideal that you enthrone in your heart–this you will build your life by, and this you will become.” — James Lane Allen
“The world is the sum-total of our vital possibilities.” — Ortega y Gasset
“The world needs people like you to dream of something great and then pursue it with all your heart.” — Chris Widener
“The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible–and achieve it.” — Pearl S. Buck
“These dreams go on when I close my eyes, Every second of the night I live another life.” — Heart
“There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, ‘Yes, I’ve got dreams, of course I’ve got dreams.’ Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they’re still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, ‘How good or how bad am I?’ That’s where courage comes in.” — Erma Bombeck
“There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts being broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream–whatever that dream might be.” — Pearl S. Buck
“There are so many fragile things, after all. People break so easily, and so do dreams and hearts.” — Neil Gaiman
“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.” — Douglas Everett
“There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you — just reach deep into yourself!” — Terri Guillemets
“There is no straight line to a dream.” — Jack Welch
“There is nothing like dream to create the future. Utopia today, flesh and blood tomorrow.” — Victor Hugo
“They may kill the dreamers, like they did Kennedy, King, Ghandi and Lincoln. But I am convinced that as long as you and I follow our God-given dreams, they will never kill the dream.” — Conway Stone
“Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night.” — Edgar Allan Poe
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” — Carl Bard
“To come to be you must have a vision of Being, a Dream, a Purpose, a Principle. You will become what your vision is.” — Peter Nivio Zarlenga
“Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!” — Oh, the Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss
“Trust your hunches…. Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.” — Joyce Brothers
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” — The Lorax, Dr. Seuss
“Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.” — Jonathan Swift
“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.” — Japanese proverb
“Visionary people are visionary partly because of the very great many things they don’t see.” — Berkeley Rice
“We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they’re called memories. Some take us forward, they’re called dreams.” — Jeremy Irons
“We don’t have an eternity to realize our dreams, only the time we are here.” — Susan Taylor
“We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter’s evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.” — Woodrow Wilson
“Welcome to reality! Our time is limited. We might as well get on with it; so why not choose now to live the life of our dreams?” — Seth David Chernoff
“What do you always think about? What do you think you can do easily? What do you find peace in your heart to do? Watch those things carefully because among them is something on which you can turn the entire environment surrounding you for your success.” ?- Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!
“What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?.” — Langston Hughes
“Whatever you begin will see the light of day provided you can dream big and be a ruler over your dreams with persistent actions.” ? Israelmore Ayivor, Dream Big!
“What’s the purpose of living if you don’t go after your dreams?” – Samson Reiny
“When a dream takes hold of you, what can you do? You can run with it, let it run your life, or let it go and think for the rest of your life about what might have been.” — Patch Adams
“When I care to be powerful–to use my strength in the service of my vision–then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.” — Audre Lorde
“When I think of vision, I have in mind the ability to see above and beyond the majority.” — Charles Swindoll
“When it is darkest, men see the stars.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.” – Greg Anderson
“When you cease to dream, you cease to live.” — Malcolm Forbes
“When you have a dream you’ve got to grab it and never let go.” – Carol Burnett
“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.” — Paulo Coehlo
“When you wish upon a star, Makes no difference who you are, Anything your heart desires’ Will come to you.” — Jiminy Cricket
“Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.” – Anonymous
“Whether you think you can or think you can’t — you are right.” — Henry Ford
“Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.” — Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book
“Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.” – Kongzi
“Within your heart, keep one still, secret spot where dreams may go.” — Louise Driscol
“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” — Gloria Steinem
“Yes, you can be a dreamer and a doer too, if you will remove one word from your vocabulary: impossible.” — H. Robert Schuller
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” — Les Brown
“You are not an accident. You are one of a kind. Your big dream is from God, and its irreplaceable. And you were born to seize it and celebrate it every day of your life!” — Bruce Wilkinson
“You can live your dreams if you can embrace change. It’s by taking chances that you’ll learn how to be brave.” – Nikita Koloff
“You can often measure a person by the size of his dream.” — Robert H. Schuller
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” — Oh, the Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss
“You fly free. I’m a bird in a cage.”. — Matt Lauer
“You have to dream before your dreams can come true.” — A. P. J. Abdul Kalam
“You once thought of me, As a white knight on a steed. Now you know how happy I can be.” – Monkees
“You may not know where you’re going, but so long as you spread your wings the winds will carry you.” — C. JoyBell C.
“Your aspirations are your possibilities.” — Samuel Johnson
“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” – Buddha
“Your world is as big as you make it.” — Georgia Douglas Johnson
“In optimism there is magic. In pessimism there is nothing.” — Abraham–Hicks
Want a better way to see the world?
Learn to argue with yourself.
The secret of optimism is not positive thinking.
It’s reducing your negative thinking.
(Or, practice more “non-negative thinking”)
When bad things happen or when you face adversity, if you can argue effectively with your beliefs, you can lead yourself to hope and action instead of despair.
Optimism is NOT About Positivity
It surprised me, but it was also refreshing to learn that optimism is not about positivity.
Another way to put it is, it’s your unchallenged thoughts that can lead to pessimism.
I was also surprised by how amazingly simple the practice is to build an optimistic mindset.
While I’m already an optimist, there’s always room for improvement, and I like the fact that this is a simple skill I can share with family and friends.
Analyzing Your Thinking with the ABCs
You can wildly improve your optimism by using your ABCs.
Remember, the more we can reduce our negative thinking, the more we can make space for more positive or less negative thoughts.
According to Seligman, you can analyze your explanations of bad events using the ABC model.
Let’s walk through the ABCs:
“A” is for Adversity – This is the bad event or challenge you face.
“B” is for Belief – This is your default thinking or belief about the bad event or challenge. It’s your explanation and interpretation of why things have gone wrong.
“C” is for Consequences – This is the impact of your beliefs. It’s what you feel and what you do, as a result of your belief or interpretation of what happened.
A simple way to think of the ABC model is:
What happened? … why do you think that happened? … and how does that make you feel and act, as a result?
Know your ABCs and you too can be an optimist.
Dispute Your Negative Thoughts to Build Your Optimism
You can argue your way to optimism by disputing your thoughts.
Disputation is the key practice for building your optimism. It works by countering your negative thoughts.
To dispute your negative thoughts, you can practice with your ABCs. To practice with your ABCs, identify the adversity, your belief and consequences. Next, dispute your beliefs. Notice how disputing your beliefs changes your consequences.
For example, if you originally explained your adversity with beliefs that were permanent, personal, and pervasive, the consequences are you feel paralyzed and want to give up. When you explain your beliefs in the opposite way, temporary, external, and specific, you create hope, which leads to action.
That is the KEY to optimism right there:Temporary, External, and Specific
Do NOT make things Permanent, Personal and Pervasive.
4 Ways to Ague Your Way to Optimism
Now let’s get even more specific and really build our optimism skills and learn how to be a more effective optimist.
According to Seligman, there are 4 ways you can dispute your beliefs more effectively:
Evidence – Ask yourself, “”What’s the evidence you have for and against the belief?”
Alternatives – Ask yourself, “Is there another way to look at the adversity?”
Implications – Ask yourself, “What’s the impact?”, assuming that your negative explanation is right. Check whether you are making mountains out of molehills.
Usefulness – Ask yourself, “Will thinking about the problem now, do any good?” If now is not the time, then either do something physically distracting, schedule a time to think things over, or write the negative thoughts down and deal with them when you’re ready.
In the words of Susan J. Bissonette, “An optimist is the human personification of spring.”
What a better way to see the world.
Or, more accurately, what a better way to see YOUR world.
Jim kouzes is a foremost researcher, award-winning writer, and highly sought after teacher in the field of leadership.
Jim is co-author of the award-winning and best selling book, The Leadership Challenge. The Leadership Challenge was the winner of the James A. Hamilton Hospital Administrators’ Book Award and the Critics’ Choice Award, was a BusinessWeek best-seller, and has sold over 1.4 million copies in more than twelve other languages. The Wall Street Journal has cited Jim as one of the twelve best executive educators in the United States.
Here’s Jim …
Leadership Insights from 950,000 Responses
Since 1982 Barry Posner and I have been exploring together what leaders do to mobilize others to want to struggle for shared aspirations. We’ve coauthored over 30 books, workbooks, and assessment instruments based on our research, including our bestseller, The Leadership Challenge. Last year we completed one of our most ambitious projects, analyzing 950,000 responses to our Leadership Practices Inventory —80,000 self-assessments from leaders and 870,000 assessments from observers who know those leaders. Over the recent holidays I took a step back from all this data, and asked myself, “If I had to list the Top Ten Leadership Lessons I’ve learned over all these years, what would those Top Ten be?” Here is what I came up with. (Caveat: We’ve learned a lot more than ten things about leadership, so this is not an exhaustive list. And, I might change this list next week after I reflect some more!)
Top 10 Leadership Lessons
Lesson 1. Leadership is everyone’s business.
Lesson 2. Credibility is the foundation.
Lesson 3: Personal values drive commitment.
Lesson 4. You either lead by example, or you don’t lead at all.
Lesson 5. Looking forward is a leadership prerequisite.
Lesson 6. It’s not just the leaders vision.
Lesson 7. Challenge provides the opportunity for greatness.
Lesson 8. Leaders are team players.
Lesson 9. Leadership is a relationship.
Lesson 10. Caring is at the heart of leadership.
Lesson 1. Leadership is everyone’s business.
We keep finding leaders everywhere we look. They come from every type of organization, public and private, government and NGO, high-tech and low-tech, small and large, schools and professional services. They are young and old, male and female, gay and straight, and are present in every ethnic group. They come from every imaginable vocation and avocation. Leadership, in other words, is not the private reserve of a few charismatic men and women who are genetically endowed with some special power. Similarly, leadership is not about organizational power or authority. It’s also not about celebrity or wealth, the family you are born into, being a CEO, president, general, or prime minister. And it’s definitely not about being a hero. Leadership is a set of skills and abilities that are accessible and learnable by anyone who has the motivation and desire to learn it.
Lesson 2. Credibility is the foundation.
Over these last 26 years we’ve asked people around the world to answer the question, “What do you look for and admire in a leader, someone whose direction you would willingly follow?” (The key word in this question is willingly!) What we’ve found in our investigation of admired leader qualities is that, more than anything, people want leaders who are credible. Quite simply, people need to believe in their leaders. Because our findings have been so pervasive and consistent, we’ve come to identify it as “The First Law of Leadership”: If you don’t believe in the messenger, you won’t believe the message.
And, what is credibility behaviorally? How do you know it when you see it? When we ask these questions, the responses we get are essentially the same, regardless of how they are phrased. Credible leaders walk the talk, practice what they preach, are consistent in word and deed, put their money where their mouth is, and follow through on promises. This has led us to the Second Law of Leadership: To become a credible leader you must Do What You Say You Will Do, or DWYSYWD for short.
Lesson 3: Personal values drive commitment.
DWYSYWD has to fundamental parts to it—the say part and the do part. People expect their leaders to stand up for their beliefs. But to stand up for your beliefs, you have to know what you stand for. To walk the talk, you have to have a talk to walk. To do what you say, you have to know what you want to say. To earn and sustain personal credibility, you must first be able to clearly articulate deeply held beliefs. And we know from our research that those leaders who are the clearest about their own values, and who see the fit between their own values and the values of the organizations they serve, are the most committed leaders. Personal values clarity is essential to commitment…and to integrity and authenticity.
Lesson 4. You either lead by example, or you don’t lead at all.
The second part of earning credibility—or, DWYSYWD—is the “do” part. The only way people know we value something is when they see it in action. When leaders practice what they preach they become role models for their constituents, and leaders who are seen as exemplary role models have higher performing units. In fact, in our most recent analysis of over 950,000 responses to our Leadership Practices Inventory, we found that Model the Way is the leadership practice that has more impact on constituents’ performance than any of the other Five Practices in our model. If you could only do one thing as a leader to energize the performance of others, it would be, based on our data, to be set an example based on a set of shared values.
Lesson 5. Looking forward is a leadership prerequisite.
In our most recent surveys, 72 percent of respondents selected the “forward-looking” as one of their most sought-after leadership characteristics. Among the most senior executives, the percentage expecting this quality is 88 percent. People expect leaders to have a sense of direction and a concern for the future of the organization. Exemplary leaders are able to envision the future, to gaze across the horizon of time and imagine the greater opportunities to come. They are able to develop a unique image of the future. This ability, more than any of the other leadership skills, differentiates leaders from individual contributors.
Lesson 6. It’s not just the leaders vision.
At some point during all this talk over the years about the importance of being future-oriented, leaders got the sense that they were the ones who had to be the visionaries. Wrong! This is not what constituents expect. Yes, leaders are expected to be forward-looking, but they aren’t expected to be prophets. Exemplary leadership is not about uttering divinely inspired revelations. What people really want to hear is not just the leader’s vision. They want to hear about their own aspirations. They want to hear how their dreams will come true and their hopes will be fulfilled. The very best leaders understand that they are supposed to Inspire a Shared Vision, not sell their idiosyncratic view of the world.
Lesson 7. Challenge provides the opportunity for greatness.
When we ask people to tell us about their personal best leadership experiences, they talk about times of crisis, adversity, change, and great difficulty. We don’t do our best as leaders when we are maintaining the status quo or when we feel comfortable. The situations that bring out our best are those that challenge us. The study of leadership, then, is the study of how men and women guide people through adversity, uncertainty, hardship, disruption, transformation, transition, recovery, new beginnings, and other significant challenges. It’s also the study of how men and women, in times of constancy and complacency, actively seek to disturb the status quo and awaken new possibilities. Leadership and challenge are simply inseparable.
Lesson 8. Leaders are team players.
Leaders can’t do it alone. No leader in history ever got anything extraordinary done by himself or herself. When it comes to superior performance collaboration out produces both competition and individualistic efforts. And, at the heart of collaboration is trust. Without trust you cannot lead. As one leader put it to us: “I have a strong willingness to be a part of what is going on, rather than apart from. I don’t think people enjoy working for long stretches for someone who won’t be part of what’s happening.”
Lesson 9. Leadership is a relationship.
Leadership is a relationship between those who choose to lead and those who choose to follow. Any discussion of leadership must attend to the dynamics of this relationship. Exemplary leaders are devoted to building relationships based on mutual respect and caring, because they know that the quality of the relationship will determine the quality of the results. The emotional intelligence of a leader has more to do with their effectiveness than their experience and their expertise. One leader told us, “I may not be the most knowledgeable person…but I know how to get other people to think well about themselves.” What an awesome ability to have. The very best leaders know that their job is to make others feel powerful and capable, not to acquire power for themselves.
Lesson 10. Caring is at the heart of leadership.
Contrary to a lot of public myth about how managers have to be cold and rational — “it’s not personal, it’s just business” — research indicates just the opposite. The highest performing managers and leaders are the most open and caring. The best demonstrate more affection toward others and want others to be more open with them. Exemplary leaders excel at improving performance through more attention to the human heart. The climb to the top of the summit is arduous and steep. The challenges are immense and often frightening. Against these odds leaders must sustain hope and offer encouragement. And the research is very clear. High hope leads to high performance.
I hope you’ll add your most important leadership lessons to this list. The best leaders are the best learners, and I know we have so much more to learn from you.
One of the most effective ways I’ve found to save a lot of time and energy is using mentors. While nothing replaces experience, mentors can help guide you to the right experiences and avoid some unnecessary experiences. They can also help you make meaning from the experiences you have, by providing a new lens or vantage point. They can also help you find the most effective path through a problem. A good mentor can also help tailor information to make it more relevant for you. It’s one thing to see good ideas in a book, it’s another to have somebody who can take you through the ideas in a way that resonates for you.
Key Points Here are some key points:
Mentors are all around you. Imagine if everybody you know, has one great thing to teach you.
Find people with results. You can’t argue with results.
Ask better questions. If you’re not getting the information you need, try asking deeper questions. One simple question to ask is, “who’s the right person to ask for advice on this?”
Think in terms of motivation, skills, and feedback. Sometimes, you might just need somebody who helps you find your motivation. Other times, you actually need hard-core skills or techniques. Sometimes, you just need more actionable feedback. Sometimes, you need it all. Know what you need to find the right mentors.
Here is a simple example. One of the ways I find out which ways to make money work and which ones don’t is I check with accountants. Since they do the taxes, they get to see what’s working and what’s not. I’d rather pay an accountant for a few hours of their time, than spend a year down a path that has a poor success rate.
One day not too long ago the employees of a large company in St. Louis, Missouri returned from their lunch break and were greeted with a sign on the front door. The sign said: “Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym.”
At first everyone was sad to hear that one of their colleagues had died, but after a while they started getting curious about who this person might be. The excitement grew as the employees arrived at the gym to pay their last respects. Everyone wondered: “Who is this person who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he’s no longer here!”
One by one the employees got closer to the coffin and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood over the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul.
There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: “There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU.”
YOU are the only person who can revolutionise your life. YOU are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realisation and your success. YOU are the only person who can help yourself. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes.
Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realise that YOU ARE the only one responsible for your life.
