Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy’s name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. They arrived at Bill’s home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. “Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?” asked Bill. “You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn’t want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mothers sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more, you saved my life.”
Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.
At a fundraising dinner for an American school that serves learning disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: “When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?” The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. “I believe,that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child.”Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked,”Do you think they’ll let me play?” Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps. Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said, “We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.” Shay struggled over to the team’s bench put on a team shirt with a broad smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher. The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!” Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!” Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions and he too intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home. All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay” Shay reached third base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to third! Shay, run to third” As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their feet were screaming, “Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the “grand slam” and won the game for his team. That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world. Shay didn’t make it to another summer and died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy and coming home and seeing his mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day! Source: Rabbi Paysach Krohn, a popular lecturer and best-selling author of the ArtScroll Maggid series of short stories
One little boy came up to his mother and handed her a piece of paper. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it: – For cleaning up my room this week Rs.05.00 – Baby-sitting for my kid brother Rs.10.00 – For going to the store for you Rs.02.00 – Taking out the garbage Rs.00.50 – For getting a good report card Rs.10.00 – For helping in kitchen Rs.00.25 Total owed: Rs.27.75 His mother looked at him standing there, expectantly. She picked up the pen, turned the paper over and wrote: – Nine months I carried you while you were inside me : No Charge – The times I’ve sat with you, doctored and prayed for you : No Charge – For all the tears that you’ve caused through the years : No Charge – For all the nights that were filled with dread and the worries : No ChargeI know were ahead– For the toys, food, cloth, and even wiping your nose, there’s : No Charge – And when you add it all up, the full cost of real love is : No Charge When the son finished reading what his mother had written there were great big tears in his eyes. He looked straight at his mother and said, “Mom, I sure do love you.” And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote, “PAID IN FULL”. Love-filled actions should always be unconditional.
And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
A man was selling balloons at a fair in a tribal village. He had balloons of different colors. To attract the attention of people, he would release a gas filled balloon into the air. When children saw the balloon go up, they would jump with joy and rushed to buy one. The Balloon man was busy in attracting his little customers, when he felt someone pulling his kurta (traditional dress worn in India). He turned around and saw a little dark tribal boy asking him, “If you release a black balloon, would that also fly high?” For a moment the balloon man was taken aback – why is this little boy asking such a question? His eyes fell on the dark skin of the body, and in a flicker of moment, the balloon man realized the matter! With lot of affection, he moved his hand on the head of the little boy and replied gently, “Son, it is not the color of the balloon, it is what’s inside it that makes it go up!”
Youth is not entirely a time of life — it is a state of mind. It is not wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red lips, or supple knees. It is a temper of will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions.
Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fears; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.
In the central place of every heart, there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty and hope, cheer and courage, you are young.
When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then and only then have you grown old.
The following true story captured our heart. It happened several years ago in the Paris opera house. A famous singer had been contracted to sing, and ticket sales were booming. In fact, the night of the concert found the house packed and every ticket sold. The feeling of anticipation and excitement was in the air as the house manager took the stage and said, “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for your enthusiastic support. I am afraid that due to illness, the man whom you’ve all come to hear will not be performing tonight. However, we have found a suitable substitute we hope will provide you with comparable entertainment.” The crowd groaned in disappointment and failed to hear the announcer mention the stand-in’s name. The environment turned from excitement to frustration.
The stand-in performer gave the performance everything he had. When he had finished, there was nothing but an uncomfortable silence. No one applauded. Suddenly, from the balcony, a little boy stood up and shouted, “Daddy, I think you are wonderful!” The crowd broke into thunderous applause.
We all need people in our Lives who are willing to stand up once in a while and say, “I think you are wonderful. “
Be enough for yourself first. The rest of the world can wait.
Don’t undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Don’t set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.
Don’t take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.
Don’t let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Don’t give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Don’t be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Don’t shut love out of your life by saying it’s impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love. The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Don’t dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.
Don’t run through life so fast that you forget not only where you’ve been, but also where you’re going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way:-)
“no” is just a redirection, transforming missed opportunities into necessary growth and a stronger, more refined path forward
As I get ready to launch another business I start getting fear – the fear of rejection. You see no matter how brave of a face I put on there is still the fear – what happens if this product doesn’t work out? Why isn’t EVERYBODY in love with this thing? Why doesn’t EVERYBODY write about it? Why isn’t my inbox flooded with emails telling me how great this product is?
As an artist (entrepreneurs are basically artists) you have to face the fear of rejection. You have to step inside the ring and often times – especially the early days – you will take nothing but a major beating. And the bad news is that the more successful you become the more rejection you will get. In marketing a 2 % response rate is considered pretty good. That means at least 98 % of the people are constantly rejecting you. If I want my web product to be successful than if I go from a 100 hits to a 1,000 hits per week – I go from being rejected 98 times to being rejected 980 times every week. But I also go from having 2 customers to having 20 customers.
If you start focusing on the rejections than you won’t get the customers/fans. Focus instead on the 2 or 20 people that are using your product – how can you get them to LOVE your product? Where can you find more people like them? I used to focus on worrying about converting every single one of the other 98% and get annoyed on why they didn’t go for my product – now I’ve learnt to focus on the 2 % and find more people like them. You can’t please all of the people all of the time. It sounds easy to read but we do want to please all of the people all of the time.
Ultimately a customer/fan in love with your product is the best salesperson you can hire for your business. And they don’t cost you anything. The amount of people I see loving their macs or their iPhones is amazing – I could have sworn apple was paying them to pitch to me – but they aren’t. Or the fans that U2, Beatles or the Rolling Stones have – they want you to buy their favorite band’s products.
100 % of the world did not buy Michael Jackson’s albums – less than 2 % did. 100 % of the people don’t have an iPhone – less than 2 % do.
The only way to really deal with the rejection is to feel the fear and do it anyway. As an entrepreneur/artist/musician/director the business/painting/song/movie while its in your head doesn’t take any rejection. While its not “out there” everything is rosy. But when you do release the product/website/painting/song/movie you realize that people have their own lives to worry about and they don’t really have time for your product and you have to start to deal with the rejection. Or they tell you “its nice” but your inner voice starts saying “do they mean it?”.
Whatever you do – you have to start with yourself first. The thing you are launching is not you. Yes, a big part of you is in the product but ultimately if someone doesn’t like what you produce doesn’t mean that they are rejecting you. If you don’t like my cooking, we can still be friends – you just simply don’t like my cooking!
Either I go away and change the spices to your liking or I find someone that likes the way I cook. That’s the decision you will have to make. If you are confident than try to get other people to taste your cooking before switching the recipe too quickly.
See I used to go to the outside world to get my ego trips. We all have a need for significance – but when I started looking internally I found that I could try out more stuff because I was ready for a bit more rejection. Now as I start remarketing a product I am connected to a lot of the people I knew in school, university and a lot of my professional life. As I use facebook to market my product there is a fear that everyone I know will be seeing it crash….but I’ve realised just as I don’t really think about EVERYONE on my ‘friends’ list all the time – they don’t really think about me all the time.
You see most people will want you to succeed. They might not like your product but they will wish you well. They have nothing to gain if you fail – and something to gain if you make it.
The best training I got for rejection is really by messing up. I’ve made a “fool of myself” many times. Many times I’ve simply been an idiot. But I realised no one really cared if I slipped on a banana peel – if I could learn to laugh at myself as well than life became easier.
If you are going through an anxiety phase about launching your painting or whatever product you are thinking about than the best training I could tell you is to go do something really embarrassing. Walk up to 100 strangers and tell them you have a third eye underneath your armpit. The first 2 or 3 people will be really tough to do this to. By about person number 7 you get used to it. By person number 68 you really don’t care.
Go ahead and face your fears – get rejected.
Find the 2 % that love what you do…they are the people that will make it worth it for you.
I work through a lot of challenges, but the big idea is this: life gets better with skill.
I help underdogs, leaders, and achievers make the most of what they’ve got. I have a passion for excellence and a passion for getting results. I’m also a fan of better ways for better days in in the pursuit of GREATNESS!
I am an teacher. This is not just my day job but it’s a lifestyle and calling. As part of my calling, I nurture multiple followers on agile goals. Each goal is a new team, a new adventure, and new lessons learned. I’ve authored several blogs, where I write prescriptive guidance to share and scale patterns and practices for success. ustadhyusuf.com is designed to help you make the most of work and life, using success patterns. It’s also a highly effective time management system.
I’m also an avid mentor at work. I regularly work with several mentees to help them improve their effectiveness. This includes everything from improving communication skills to leadership skills or basic project management.
Over the course of leading many projects, many teams, and many adventures, I’ve learned how to get results and balance life. I continuously invest in what I call my “Life Frame”, which is the hot spots in life: Mind, Body, Emotions, Career, Financial, Relationships, and Fun. I continuously study these hot spots on a quest for the best insights and actions, for work and life. I’m a fan of finding and sharing the principles, patterns and proven practices that work in the real-world under extreme conditions.
me way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy’s name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend. They arrived at Bill’s home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally the long awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk.
