90% of success in anything is just discipline
We spend year in school but don’t learn much about it
Here are 7 stoic lessons to you to help you build strong self-discipline and emotional control.
1.The Battle Against Pleasure
The body does not have a mind of its own so you must save it from itself. The body wants to eat until it’s full but it ends up way past that point, the body wants what it wants now. It can deal with the consequences later; we have to be smart and stop it before that happens. If you are stuffed and uncomfortable afterward and when you wake up you are filled with regret and shame the next morning, was it really that great in the first place? Don’t just think about what pleasure you will get, think about what it will take from you. Think about how you think about it afterwards when your pants are too tight or you catch yourself in the mirror wondering how all this happened.
Self-discipline is not about refraining from excess, because it’s considered a sin or morally wrong. Instead it’s about avoiding a life filled with unnecessary suffering and negative consequences that we create for ourselves.
When we give in to every impulse and desire without restraint, we risk creating our own personal hell right here in the present. It’s important to understand that abstinence and restraint are not the same. Abstinence means avoiding something altogether, while restraint is about exercising moderation. Its about knowing how to approach things in a balance and appropriate way based on our bodies. Being disciplined doesn’t mean denying ourselves happiness, it means being responsible and understanding our limits. It’s about knowing when to stop before things get out of control e.g. Its having the strength to leave the table before overeating or enjoying just one drink instead of going for more.
Discipline isn’t a punishment but a way to avoid negative consequences, it’s an expression of self-value. We must prioritize our minds over our bodies and avoid temporary distractions and pleasures.
2.Seek Discomfort
Senica was a rich man with inheritances from his father and successful investments he made across the roman empire. Despite his riches, from time to time he chose to live in discomfort for several days. He would wear rough and old clothes and even sleep on the ground with only a piece of dry bread and water. Seneca took great care to ensure that his experiences of discomfort were genuine and serious. When advising a friend to try this voluntary discomfort he emphasized the importance of eating hard bread and sleeping on a hard piece of wood to make the experience authentic and not just an amusement.
Why did Seneca do this? Seneca knew that most of his fellow citizens, without complaint lived in the same circumstances that he was voluntarily living in for a few days and this was the point. By intentionally subjecting himself to these conditions, he sought to prove that enduring such challenges was possible and actually typical for many of his fellow citizens.
Many of Seneca’s wealthy friends were terrified of living in such conditions which made them anxious and risk averse. By facing these hardships voluntarily, Seneca would say to himself – is this what you were afraid of?
Going through this voluntary hardship helped Senica build perspective and resilience enabling him to face adversity with greater strength, ultimately this practice even saved his life when the emperor Nero became unstable. Seneca offered all his wealth for his freedom; Nero was shocked and couldn’t believe someone would give it all up. In contrast to Seneca’s approach, many of us avoid anything uncomfortable. We believe that success means never struggle and always having what we want at our finger tips. Why be cold when we can turn on the AC, why carry heavy things when someone else can do it for us, why walk when we can drive. We don’t realize how dependent this makes us, it spoils us and creates perfect conditions for failure. It also makes us fearful, we get addicted to our comforts and then we fear losing them. But some people value discomfort, they challenge themselves by running marathons, sleeping on the ground, lifting heavy things or enduring manual labor.
Seeking pain toughens us up and makes us less afraid of challenges. Self-discipline starts with our bodies, but it does not happen automatically. We must expose ourselves to challenges because life will bring severe discomfort someday, we must be prepared. Those who can handle tough time and accept the change are harder to defeat and happier overall. We should be moderate now when times are good because good times never last forever.
3.Quit Being a Slave
Dwight Eisenhower achieved great things in his life, he fought in battles, defeated the Nazis, occupied Germany, wrote his Memoirs and became rich. But in 1949, he faced a new challenge, conquering himself. He had a habit of smoking three to four packs of cigarettes daily for 38 years and he knew it was time to quit. Although it may not seem like a big deal compared to his other accomplishments, anyone who has struggled with addition knows how tough it can be. But Eisenhower had incredible willpower, he decided to quit smoking cold turkey, he said the only way to stop is to stop and he never touched a cigarette again. No one forced him to quit, it was his personal decision. He believed it was his duty to take care of his body and protect his health. By conquering this inner demon he added years to his life with a strong and healthy body he could continue to serve the world. He led NATO and eventually became the president of the United States during a challenging time.
In today’s world we can get hooked on various things like cigarettes, soda, TikTok, Instagram or playing video games. It doesn’t matter if these habits are considered acceptable or not, what’s important is whether they are good for us. Just like Eisenhower smoking habit was harming him slowly, many of our habits may be doing the same without us realizing it. But even if they don’t harm us, why should we let these habits control us? Why should we take orders from our belly?
We should be the boss, neither the body nor the habit can be the boss. Why would you choose to be a slave to your habits? Here’s a simple test; if these things were introduced to you today knowing all the risks and consequences, would you still start using them? Would you still smoke, drink or pursue a lifestyle if you knew it would lead to unhappiness in the long run? Just because you started in the past doesn’t mean you must continue now; you have the power to choose differently. No matter how powerful you are there might be some bad habits that you are struggling with right now but the good news is it’s never too late to beat them. Take inspiration from Eisenhower who quit smoking at the age of 58. What counts is not how long you have had the habit but what you choose to do about it today. Choose to stop now! Choose to stop being a slave!
4.Avoid The Extra
Kato the elder was known for his remarkable frugality, he lived a simple and humble life. Never wearing expensive garments or spending extravagantly. Kato’s philosophy of minimalism extended to his home as well, he lived in a modest house, taking inspiration from his hero Manus. When emissaries were sent to bribe Manus during the height of his power, they found him in his kitchen boiling turnips. His simple lifestyle showed them, he didn’t care about getting rich, he couldn’t be bought with money. Similarly, when Kato was offered expensive gifts, or rewards for his political work, he declined them because when we desire more than we need, we make ourselves vulnerable. Being a little hard on ourselves makes it harder for others to be hard on us. Being strict with ourselves takes away other’s power over us.
Another excellent example on the power of simplicity can be seen in the boxer Rubin Carter. During his unjust imprisonment, he deliberately lived with very few comforts. He didn’t have luxuries like pillows, radio, rugs or T.V which made it difficult for the guards to have any leverage over him. By depriving himself of these amenities, Carter asserted control over his own life and became less vulnerable to manipulation. It can seem like the life of Kato or Rubin Carter is difficult, but in many ways it’s easier, less to worry about, fewer rings to kiss. No one is having less fun than the person who has debtors on the door, or a person who is forced to keep working harder and harder to maintain his luxury lifestyle. In our modern world we often find ourselves surrounded by temptations and the pressure to own more and more. Advertisements and social influences on us can make us believe that we need certain things to be happy.
Ask yourself, haven’t I and humanity survived quite a long time without this? How long did the happiness last the last time you bought the thing you craved for? This new thing you crave will not make you happier either, because the last on didn’t. If you need proof, go check your wardrobe. Think about how happy and content you were with less just a few years ago, do you look back at those younger years and feel bad for having less, probably not. Those were the happy days, you almost miss them now. Things were simpler and cleaner.
Here’s a powerful secret, the less you desire, the richer, freer, and more powerful you become, it’s that simple.
5.Slow Down…..To Go Faster
Octavian became Julius Ceasar’s heir when he was only 18. A year later he promised Rome’s leaders at the Forum, that he would reach the same heights as his adoptive father. Despite his ambitious plans he didn’t hurry, instead he took a slow and careful approach. Learning from his stoic teachers at the Naturus and Arius Didimus. Octavian co-ruled with Mark Anthony for a decade and then led the senate for 5 years before finally becoming Augustus Caesar in 27 BC. His journey to power was slow and intentional. When Octavian took control of Rome, he transformed it from a city of bricks into a grand empire of marble. This transformation did not happen overnight, it required time and attention to many small details.
Octavian approach teaches us the value of disciplined pacing and the importance of getting things done properly. Hustling doesn’t always mean rushing. It’s about getting things done properly and efficiently.
It’s okay to move slowly as long as progress is steady and consistent. We must manage the impulse to rush, both in response to external pressures and our own eagerness to dive into action. While this eagerness is valuable, it needs to be properly channeled. If not managed well, it will quickly turn from an asset into a liability.
6.The Difficult Life Is the Best Life
King George IV was famous for this love of food, he would have a massive breakfast with pigeons, stakes, wine and brandy. Over time he got so fat that he was afraid he might not be able to breathe if he lays down to sleep. Even signing documents became a challenge and he had a stamp made for his signature so that he didn’t have to move much. Despite his responsibilities as a king, he ignored his duties and fathered several children outside of his marriage. He seemed to believe that he was above the rules of health and mortality. He thought his body could endure endless abuse without consequences.
However, his careless lifestyle caught up with him, and on a summer night in 1830 at 3:30am, he faced his death. He was surprised to realize that he was dying and shouted good God what is this. Recognizing it was death, he grabbed the young servant’s hand and said, my boy this is death. It was as if he was shocked to find out that his poor health habits had finally led to his death.
Compared to King George’s self-destructive lifestyle, let’s turn to the inspiring example of president Theodore Roosevelt. Once Theodore told his father not to scold him or he would have Asma and on many nights he did. Despite being born weak and facing health issues like Asma and poor eyesight, he chose a different path. He embraced the difficult life and made physical activity a priority in his life. Encouraged by his father, he engaged in various physical activities like rowing, boxing, wrestling, hiking and football. He believed in pushing himself to be active and energized throughout his life. Even when he became president, he continued his commitment to exercise. Making time for a couple of hours of daily physical activity. Who do you think felt better when they woke up in the morning, the lazy King George or Roosevelt?
Roosevelt example is a powerful reminder that being active and embracing the tough life can lead to achieving great things. We are meant for more that just existing and looking for pleasure. Nature has given us amazing gifts; we are incredibly evolved beings at the top of the food chain. Will you let your abilities waste away. Today many young people can’t join the military because of health or fitness issues. Being careless with our bodies is not a joke, it’s a matter of national security. If we want to be great and productive members of the society, we must take care of our bodies. It’s not just about the gym, it’s also about what we eat and avoiding harmful substances. Our bodies are like high end race cars and we need to fuel them properly. Life is full of problems and tough situations, sometime our work may not go as planned, we might face difficulties, however when it comes to exercising, we have the power to control it. We can choose different activities like swimming, weightlifting, jujitsu or long walks, but the key is to be active. Self-discipline is not about saying no to pleasure, pleasure is the reward for our efforts. Taking care of our bodies, controlling our desires, working hard and exercising is not a punishment. It’s the way we earn the pleasure.
7.Silence Is Strength
The Spartans were known for their courage and strength but they had another impressive quality, they were masters of self-discipline when it came to speaking. They had a way of using a few words to make a big impact. When threatened by powerful enemies, they responded with short powerful words, showing that they were not afraid for instance, when told that Xerys arrows would block out the sun. Leonitis replied, then we shall fight in the shade. When another conqueror threatened to slaughter every single spartan soldier if they breached their walls, the Spartans simply replied with one ‘If’.
They never used two words where one would do, they never used unnecessary words, never overshared and never talked just for the sake of it. They knew that saying less is more powerful than saying a lot. Despite having the power and authority to say whatever they wanted, the Spartans chose to hold their tongues. They didn’t feel the need to prove themselves by talking constantly or engaging in pointless arguments.
Today technology makes it easier to share our opinions and jump into discussions, but the Spartans lesson is to resist that temptation. You don’t have to verbalize every thought or give your opinion every time. Just because there is a pause doesn’t mean you have to fill it. Just because everyone is talking, doesn’t mean you have to jump in.
You can sit with the awkwardness. You can use the silence to your advantage. You can just wait and see. You can answer the question with I don’t know. You can ignore the insult. You can decline the invitation. You can decide not to explain your reasons. Of course, you can do all of these, but will you?
Kato chose to speak only when he was certain his words were not better left unsaid, two ears one mouth. Zeno would remind his students, respect that ratio. Always regret what you didn’t say, not the other way round. Let them wish you talked more!
