Hazrat Ali (AS) once replied to a group of ten learned men who said, ‘We seek your permission for our putting a question to you.’
Hazrat Ali (AS) replied, ‘You are at perfect liberty.’
They said, ‘of knowledge and wealth, which is better and why. Please give a separate answer to each of us
Hazrat Ali (AS) answered in ten parts:
Knowledge is the legacy of the Prophets; wealth is the inheritance of the Pharaohs. Therefore, knowledge is better than wealth
You are to guard your wealth but knowledge guards you. Therefore, knowledge is better.
A man of wealth has many enemies, while a man of knowledge has many friends. Hence, knowledge is better.
Knowledge is better because it increases with distribution, while wealth decreases by that act.
Knowledge is better because a learned man is apt to be generous while a wealthy person is apt to be miserly.
Knowledge is better because it cannot be stolen while wealth can be stolen.
Knowledge is better because time cannot harm knowledge but wealth rusts in course of time and wears away.
Knowledge is better because it is boundless while wealth is limited and you can keep account of it.
Knowledge is better because it illuminates the mind while wealth is apt to blacken it.
Knowledge is better because knowledge induced the humanity in our Prophet to say to GOD ‘we worship thee as we are your servants,’ while wealth engendered in Pharaoh and Nimrod the vanity which made them claim godhead.
“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
By asking empowering questions, you inspire yourself to action, gain better perspective, or help you make the most of any situation.
The right question can be just the right prompt to help you move in a better direction.
Here is a set of 101 empowering questions, my favorite questions, that I draw from whether it’s to shape my day, solve a problem, figure out next steps, or get “on path.”
What’s the way forward? (it’s a big question, but it reminds me to cut a path through the forest of ambiguity and chaos)
What do you want your life to be about?
Who do you want to be and what experiences do you want to create?
How does that serve you in terms of who you are and who you want to be?
Are you giving your best where you have your best to give?
What are you optimizing for?
How can you reduce friction to create a glide path?
How can you reduce scope to save time or make the time you have most useful?
What do you want to achieve? What do you want to accomplish? (Try this over what are you trying to do?)
What do you want to do more of each day? … What do you want to spend your time doing more of?
What do you want to spend less time on?
If not now, when?
If not you, who?
What’s right with this picture? (If you always ask, “What’s wrong with this picture?”, this is a nice switch)
How can you make the most of the situation? … If there are no good options, what’s the best play I can make for this scenario?
Who else shares this problem? … Who would solve this problem well? (a great way to find models and learn from the best)
What would <famous or interesting person XYZ> do?” … How would I respond if I were Barkhad Abdi? … Abdirashid Duale? … Amina Moghe Hersi?… etc. (this is a great way to come up with new ideas or plays for your situation)
What are you pointing your camera at? (a simple way to direct your day on a scene-by-scene basis)
What’s good enough for now?
What can you be the best at in the world?
What’s the most effective thing for me to focus on?
Are you asking the right question? … Is that the right question?
How is that relevant?
What’s that based on?
What’s the goal? … What are the goals?
What would success look like?
What do you need to be successful? … What do you need to be successful in this situation?
Is it working? … Is it effective?
What do you measure? … What are the metrics?
What are the tests for success?
How do you know it’s working?
How do you know when you’re done?
What did you expect?
Are you creating the results you want?
Does it matter?
Will it matter in 100 years?
Is it worth the effort?
What actions have I taken? … What steps have I tried? ( a great sanity check when you’re testing your ability to take action)
What’s next?
What do you want to do?
What’s best for you?
What’s the best thing for now?
What’s your next best thing to do?
Is that a good idea?
So what? Now what?
What’s the problem?
What’s the threat?
What’s the concern?
When do you want it by? … You want what by when?
Who needs to do what when?
Who needs to do what differently?
Who should do what when?
What would you have them do differently?
What’s wearing you down?
What’s lifting you up?
Why do you get up in the morning and come to work?
What do you want to experience? … What do you want to experience more of?
What are you trading? … What are you trading up for?
What did you learn that you can use next time?
What would you do differently next time around?
Where’s the growth?
What would people pay you for in the future?
Do you want to run towards or away from the problem?
How big is the pie, how big is your slice?
Does it make business sense?
Is it business critical?
What’s our capacity?
What’s our constraint?
What are the KPIs (Key Performance Indicators)?
What’s our core business?
What does the market want?
Is it push, pull or indifferent?
What’s the trend?
What to cut back on?
What does the pro know that you don’t? (this is a good way to figure out if knowledge or insight can make a difference)
What’s the right thing to do?
Is now the right time?
Is this the right forum?
How much time do you have?
What are you making time for?
How much time should you make for it?
What can you do all day long?
What are you spending the bulk of your time on?
If you had all the money in the world, how would you spend it?
Where are we on the map?
What would make life more wonderful for you?
How can you chunk it down?
How fast can you do it?
What’s the impact?
What would you like to have happen? … What would you like instead?
“To change who you are, change who you think you are.”
You can shift your identity to become your Future Self now.
Identity shifting is one of the most power tools you can use for personal transformation and growth.
You can use identify shifting to consciously mold aspects of your identity to better align with your goals and aspirations.
Writers write, Runners run. Authors write books. Musician’s create music. Artists create works of art.
The fastest way to change all of your key habits is to shift your identity.
Your identity is a habit. It’s made up a lot of habits that reinforce the belief of who you are.
If you don’t believe you are an athlete, you won’t do athletic things.
If you master identify shifting, you master a key skill for life.
What is Identity Shifting?
Identity shifting empowers you to consciously change how you perceive yourself and how you act, aligning your behavior with the person you aspire to be.
It’s built on the psychological insight that your self-image shapes your actions and your life’s path.
To effectively shift your identity, you must clearly define the traits you aim to adopt, consistently apply behaviors that reinforce this new identity, and regularly reflect on and adjust your approach.
This process isn’t about pretending to be someone else.
It’s about shedding limiting beliefs and behaviors to unlock your true potential.
By embracing identity shifting, you take control of your personal development, breaking free from past limitations and stepping into a role that fulfills and advances you toward your success.
Why Use Identity Shifting?
Identity shifting is about evolving into the best version of yourself, while embracing who you are.
Identity shifting can be a powerful tool for personal development, offering several key benefits that facilitate growth and transformation.
Here are the primary reasons to consider using identity shifting:
Enhanced Self-Perception: Identity shifting allows you to redefine how you see yourself, moving beyond limiting beliefs that may have held you back. This new self-perception can boost your confidence and open up possibilities that align with your aspirations.
Behavioral Change: By adopting a new identity, you naturally start to change your behaviors to align with this identity. For example, if you begin to see yourself as a leader, you may take on more leadership roles and behaviors, which can enhance your professional and personal life.
Improved Adaptability: As you shift your identity, you learn to be more flexible in your thoughts and behaviors. This adaptability can make you more resilient to changes and challenges, enabling you to navigate life’s ups and downs more effectively.
Goal Achievement: Identity shifting aligns your mindset with your goals. By embodying traits and behaviors of your ideal self, you’re more likely to take actions that lead to achieving your objectives, whether they’re related to career, personal growth, or relationships.
Increased Motivation and Engagement: Engaging in identity shifting can reignite your passion for goals and activities by connecting them with your core values and the essence of who you want to be. This alignment can renew your motivation and deepen your engagement with your pursuits.
Broader Perspectives: Changing your identity can help you see the world from different perspectives, enhancing empathy and understanding towards others. This can improve your relationships and your ability to work within diverse teams.
Long-Term Satisfaction and Fulfillment: Ultimately, identity shifting helps you live a life that feels more authentic and aligned with your true self. This authenticity can lead to deeper satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment in life.
Examples of Identity Shifts
Identity shifting involves adopting new self-perceptions and behaviors to better align with your goals and values.
Aside from shifting to roles you might want to become like a leader or writer or artist or musician or athlete, etc., you can also use identity shifting to gain attributes or characteristics you want, such as more confidence or more positivity.
Here are some examples of identities you might shift to, depending on your aspirations and life circumstances:
From Passive to Proactive: Shifting from a passive to a proactive identity involves adopting a mindset where you actively seek out opportunities and solutions, rather than waiting for things to happen or for others to take the lead.
From Pessimist to Optimist: This shift involves changing your outlook from seeing the worst in situations to focusing on the positive aspects and possibilities, which can significantly influence your emotional well-being and decision-making processes.
From Follower to Leader: Moving from a follower identity to a leader identity requires developing traits such as decisiveness, vision, and the ability to inspire and motivate others, crucial for those stepping into managerial roles or entrepreneurship.
From Unhealthy to Health-Conscious: For those looking to improve their physical health, shifting to an identity that prioritizes wellness, fitness, and nutrition can lead to adopting healthier lifestyle habits that support long-term health goals.
From Employee to Entrepreneur: This identity shift involves moving from seeing oneself as an employee within a company to viewing oneself as an independent entrepreneur, which encompasses taking more risks, being innovative, and assuming responsibility for the success of one’s ventures.
From Introverted to Socially Confident: Individuals who see themselves as introverted and wish to be more socially active might work on shifting their identity to become more outgoing, enhancing their ability to network and engage confidently in social settings.
From Victim to Survivor: Shifting from a victim identity to a survivor identity involves overcoming past traumas or hardships by focusing on resilience and empowerment, rather than helplessness or despair.
From Generalist to Specialist: This shift involves moving from a broad, generalist view in your professional field to becoming a specialist with deep expertise in a specific area, which can enhance career opportunities and authority in the field.
From Spender to Saver/Investor: Changing financial behaviors can include shifting from an identity that focuses on spending to one that prioritizes saving and investing, essential for achieving long-term financial security.
From Disorganized to Organized: Adopting a more organized identity involves developing systems and habits that enhance efficiency and reduce stress, transforming how you manage both time and resources.
These are just illustrative examples.
What If You Don’t Use Identity Shifting? What are the Downsides?
Not using identity shifting can hold you back from fully realizing your potential and embracing a richer, more fulfilling life.
Choosing not to engage in identity shifting and continuing to operate with a static self-concept can lead to several potential downsides and missed opportunities for personal growth.
Here are some of the negative consequences of not utilizing identity shifting:
Stagnation in Personal Development: Without the willingness to reassess and shift your identity, you may find yourself stuck in outdated patterns of thinking and behavior that no longer serve your current goals or lifestyle. This stagnation can hinder personal and professional growth.
Missed Opportunities: A rigid identity might prevent you from adapting to new opportunities or challenges effectively. You may miss out on experiences and chances for advancement that require a different approach or set of behaviors than those you are currently comfortable with.
Reduced Adaptability: In today’s rapidly changing world, adaptability is key. Not engaging in identity shifting can make it difficult to respond effectively to change, leaving you less equipped to handle new or unexpected situations.
Lower Levels of Satisfaction and Fulfillment: If your identity doesn’t evolve with your experiences and aspirations, you might feel a disconnect between who you are and who you want to be. This gap can lead to decreased satisfaction with your life and work, and feelings of unfulfillment.
Potential for Increased Stress and Anxiety: Holding onto an identity that conflicts with your evolving roles or environments can create internal stress and anxiety. This discomfort arises from the tension between your self-perception and the demands or expectations you face.
Inflexibility in Relationships and Social Roles: A static identity might limit your ability to adjust to different social roles or relationships dynamics. This inflexibility can strain relationships and limit your social circle to those who only fit within your unchanged identity framework.
Compromised Decision Making: If your identity remains unaltered over time, it can influence your decisions in ways that may not align with your long-term interests or the realities of your current situation. This can lead to choices that are less than optimal for your personal and professional life.
What is Your Future Self?
Your future self represents who you want to become, encapsulating your goals, aspirations, and values.
Psychology teaches us that your past doesn’t lock in your present; rather, your present is shaped by how well you connect with your future self.
This connection steers your current choices towards the outcomes you aim for, demonstrating that your capacity for change is significant when guided by a clear vision of your future.
Research indicates that people who maintain a vivid and positive connection with their future selves are more likely to make decisions that promote long-term success and well-being.
By actively engaging with your future self, you break free from past patterns and unlock expansive potential for transformation.
How To Use Identity Shifting to Become Your Future Self Now
Here’s how you can start implementing identity shifting in a practical, actionable manner:
Understand the Concept: Begin by comprehending that identity shifting involves adjusting your self-perception and behaviors to match the version of yourself you aspire to be. This could mean seeing yourself as more confident, successful, or even physically fit, depending on your personal goals.
Define Your Desired Identity: Clearly outline the characteristics of the identity you wish to embody. This could include traits like being more proactive, assertive, or compassionate. Make these traits as specific as possible to create a detailed image of your ideal self.
Start Small with Habits: Implement small daily habits that reinforce your new identity. If your goal is to become more fit, start with consistent, small exercise routines. If you want to be seen as a leader, incorporate small acts of leadership into your daily work or social interactions.
Use Visualization Techniques: Regularly visualize yourself as having already achieved your new identity. Picture yourself behaving in ways that align with this new identity in various scenarios. This mental practice will help solidify these traits in your self-perception.
Reflect and Adjust Regularly: Keep a journal of your experiences and feelings as you adopt this new identity. Reflect on what aspects feel natural, what challenges arise, and how others respond to your changes. Adjust your approach based on these reflections to better integrate your desired traits.
Seek Feedback: Get feedback from trusted peers or mentors who can provide honest insights into how your changes are perceived. This feedback can guide further modifications to your behavior and approach.
Reinforce Internally: Continually affirm your new identity to yourself through positive affirmations and self-talk. Reinforce the belief in your capabilities and your right to evolve into your ideal self.
Address Psychological Barriers: Work through any deep-seated fears or beliefs that contradict your new identity. This might involve therapy or deep introspection to resolve conflicts between your old self-image and the new identity you are cultivating.
Change Yourself, Change Your World
“If you want to change the world, start with yourself.” — Mahatma Gandhi
Identity shifting is a profound tool that not only transforms you but can also significantly impact your external world.
Here’s how engaging in identity shifting can empower you to “Change Yourself, Change Your World”:
Enhanced Self-Perception and Confidence: By shifting your identity, you cultivate traits and behaviors that resonate with your true self and aspirations. This transformation can dramatically enhance your self-confidence and how you view your capabilities. When you believe in yourself more, you’re more likely to take actions that can lead to success and fulfillment, impacting your personal and professional life positively.
Breaking Limiting Beliefs: Identity shifting involves challenging and replacing limiting beliefs that hold you back. By identifying and altering these self-imposed constraints, you unlock new potentials. For instance, shifting from seeing yourself as someone who is not a public speaker to someone who can engage audiences confidently can open up opportunities in careers, activism, or community leadership, thereby expanding your influence and ability to effect change.
Behavioral Changes Lead to Different Outcomes: As you shift your identity, your behaviors naturally align with this new self-concept. These changes in behavior can lead to different outcomes in your life. For example, if you shift your identity to see yourself as a healthy and active person, you’re more likely to adopt habits that promote health and vitality, which can transform your physical state, energy levels, and longevity.
Inspiring Others: When people see you transforming and thriving, it can inspire them to reflect on their own lives and consider their own potential for change. Your journey of identity shifting can motivate others to undertake their self-transformation journeys, thereby amplifying the impact of your changes beyond your individual experience.
Catalyzing Broader Social Changes: On a larger scale, as individuals change their perceptions of themselves and their roles in society, this can lead to collective identity shifts that challenge societal norms and catalyze social change. For instance, if more individuals see themselves as environmental stewards, this can lead to greater environmental consciousness and actions that support sustainability, influencing policies and practices at community and global levels.
Identity shifting is a powerful means of personal development that can ripple outwards, influencing various aspects of your life and the wider world.
By changing yourself—how you think, act, and interact—you inherently begin to change the spaces around you, demonstrating the profound connection between personal transformation and broader societal evolution.
It’s a Journey in Self-Discovery and Self-Mastery
“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.” — Henry David Thoreau
Identity shifting is fundamentally a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery.
It involves delving into the core of who you are, understanding your inherent qualities and the facets of your identity that have been shaped over time by external influences.
Here’s how identity shifting embodies this transformative process:
Uncovering the True Self: At the heart of identity shifting lies the exploration of your authentic self. This process requires you to peel back the layers of labels, roles, and expectations that society, family, and personal history have imposed on you. By challenging and questioning these imposed identities, you begin to discover the underlying values, desires, and traits that truly define you.
Recognition of Patterns and Limitations: Identity shifting involves recognizing the patterns of behavior and thought that have governed your life. This recognition is crucial as it allows you to identify which aspects of your personality are genuinely yours and which are adaptations to the expectations of others. Understanding these patterns helps in pinpointing the limitations that these imposed behaviors and beliefs place on your growth.
Intentional Change: Once these realizations are made, identity shifting becomes an intentional act of transforming oneself. It involves setting deliberate goals to modify aspects of your identity that no longer serve you well. This might mean developing new traits that align more closely with your core values or discarding old habits that hinder your progress.
Overcoming Resistance: The path of self-discovery and identity shifting is not without its challenges. Resistance often comes from within, rooted in fear of change or the discomfort of stepping outside familiar boundaries. Overcoming this resistance is a key part of the journey, requiring persistence, resilience, and the courage to confront and replace deeply ingrained beliefs and behaviors.
Continuous Growth and Adaptation: Identity shifting is not a one-time event but a continuous process of adaptation and growth. As life brings new experiences, challenges, and insights, your understanding of yourself evolves. This ongoing process demands a commitment to self-reflection and adaptability, ensuring that your identity consistently reflects your truest self at each stage of life.
Change Yourself in the Direction of Your Dreams
Identity shifting is not just about change.
It’s about evolving yourself towards a version of yourself that aligns deeply with your truest aspirations and potential.
By embracing identity shifting, you actively reshape your perception and behavior to meet and exceed your own expectations.
Your transformative journey equips you with the tools to work through life’s challenges with agility and confidence.
As you align more closely with your envisioned future self, you unlock new worlds of possibilities.
This will inspire your growth that transcends the limitations of your past.
Identity shifting empowers you to become the person you were born to be and that you know you can be and will be.
10 lessons from John Maxwell’s book Success Is a Choice: Make the Choices that Make You Successful:
Believe in yourself. The first step to success is to believe in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals. If you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will.
Fire up your passion. When you’re passionate about what you’re doing, you’re more likely to be successful. Find something that you’re passionate about and pursue it with all your heart.
Initiate action. Don’t just sit around and wait for things to happen. Take action towards your goals every day.
Focus your energy. Don’t try to do too many things at once. Focus your energy on the most important things that will help you achieve your goals.
Develop good relationships. Relationships are essential for success. Build strong relationships with people who can support you and help you achieve your goals.
Embrace practice. The more you practice, the better you will become. Practice your skills on a regular basis.
Persevere through setbacks. Everyone experiences setbacks from time to time. Don’t give up on your goals when things get tough. Persevere through the setbacks and keep moving forward.
Learn from your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and move on.
Celebrate your successes. Take the time to celebrate your successes along the way. This will help you stay motivated and keep moving forward.
Give back to others. Once you’ve achieved success, give back to others and help them reach their goals.
Maxwell’s book is a powerful and inspiring guide to achieving success. It is a must-read for anyone who wants to live a more fulfilling and successful life.
Here is an additional lesson from the book:
Be grateful. Take the time to be grateful for what you have. Gratitude will help you stay positive and motivated on your journey to success.
I hope these lessons are helpful. Good luck on your journey to success!
“Social capital is not a destination but a journey.”
Transactions are not made in the boardroom; they are only formalized there. People are not hired in the interview rooms; they are hired somewhere else. Decisions are not made by people in suits, they are only formalized by them.
People are not fired in disciplinary hearings, they are fired on the golf course, and the decision is formalized in a disciplinary hearing. Contracts are awarded over coffee and berbeques.
You see, these are things that we are not necessarily taught in school, yet these things will affect you in your business. Deliberately, let us have this conversation on building our social capital.
There is something in life called “Social Capital. Social Capital is about the people you know; the people who know you, and how they know you. Quite unfortunately, people think or behave like Social Capital is only needed on weddings, burials, and other celebrations. That is why you see someone who has not contacted you in many years suddenly sending you a message saying “hello so and so, long time”. Then, they indicate that on a specific day, they will have their pre-wedding function, and they need your support. Social Capital is not built overnight; it is an investment that takes time and is reciprocal. It just needs being sensitive to people’s emotions and concerns, not sneaking into their lives only when help is needed.
Social Capital is very important, and when it is built and used correctly, it makes a big difference in one’s life. It can save you money, make you money, get you a better job, make things easier, save you from prison, or save your life. It can also save you time and effort and make life more enjoyable and productive. Creating a connection with people is important for building social capital. And even if they don’t respond, at least keep in touch and don’t just reach out when you are in need.
Two things;
(1) Social capital is good, and a lot of friends bearing you goodwill is better than a few families who are obliged to you because of blood. However, social capital is not free. There is something you will pay or forego to belong. Do not go overboard to belong. Keep a few friends and be a reliable family member.
(2) The concept of social capital is like insurance. You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours. You have to be a people person to enjoy the social capital. Being a people person means you rush and stand shoulder to shoulder with your friends at their points of need. That will cost you. You can’t hide and only show up when you need assistance.
Do tasks that take less than 2 minutes immediately
2. Don’t touch it twice
Once you start a task you should complete it and not leave it half way. Starting and stopping a task can increase completion time by 5 times.
3. The 72-hour rule
Never make a decision when hungry, angry, tired, or lonely. Wait at least 72hrs. this rule will prevent a lot of unnecessary stress.
4. The 5-second rule
This is a simple technique to help avoid procrastination. The moment you feel the urge to do something productive like getting out of bedCount backward from 5 to 1. Once you reach one – you take action.
5. Daily highlight rule
Setting a daily highlight means choosing one main task for each for each day that you prioritize. And commit to completing no matter what. Ask yourself what is the one thing I want to accomplish today what will make this day feel successful or fulfilling.
6. If it’s not a Ohh Yes! Then it’s a Ohh No! rule.
This rule says that if you are not really excited about something then you shouldn’t do it, e.g if someone invites your somewhere or shows you something and your first reaction is not a Ohh Yes! Then it’s a Ohh No and you shouldn’t do it.
7. Ask who, not how rule
When we have a task or new idea, we automatically ask ourselves how can we do it, and then start working on it. This is wrong, instead ask yourself – who can do this for me? Asking who instead of how saves time, taps into other people’s expertise and let’s you focus on what you are best at.
8. Procrastination is wisdom rule
Pay attention to the tasks you procrastinate the most. Procrastination is wisdom it’s an internal signal telling you that you need help. It’s signal telling you that you should delegate the task, ask yourself who can do this for me.
9. The 90-90-1 rule
For the next 90 days spend the first 90 minutes of your day on one task that will help you achieve your goals. This rule forces you to be consistent and focused on your most important goal during your peak productive hours.
10. The 12-week year rule
According to this rule, people waste so much time by setting annual goals. Instead, it suggests aiming to achieve your 12-month goals in 12 weeks. This creates urgency and improves execution. Even if you fail in the first 12weeks, you still have three more attempts by the end of the year.
11. Biological prime time rule
Biological prime time refers to Identifying the time of day when you are most energized & productive AND doing your most important task during that time.
12. The 80% rule
You can get 80% of the project done quickly. From 0 to 80% is usually easy, from 80% to 90% is very difficult, from 90% to 100% is extremely hard. So, what does that mean for you? It means you should get feedback at 80% instead of trying to make it perfect before you send it for feedback. This can prevent you from working on things that aren’t even needed.
13. Eat the frog first rule
Eat the from first is a method where you tackle the most significant and challenging task first thing in the morning. It’s based on the idea that completing the most significant task gives you the momentum and energy to accomplish more throughout the day.
14. Parkinson’s law rule
This rule states that work expands to fill the time available for its completion. If you give yourself 4 hours to complete a task, it’ll take 4 hours, if you give yourself a full day, Set shorter deadlines to increase productivity.
15. The 80/20 rule
This rules states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your activities. If you have 10 tasks right now on your to-do list, two of them will bring your more results than the remaining eight tasks combined. Identify those two tasks and focus on them.
16. The ABCDE method rule
This method is a priority setting technique that involves listing your tasks and them ranking them from A (most important) to E (least important) and tackling them in that order.
17. Time auditing rule
Time auditing involves keeping a detailed record of your daily activities. This method helps you understand how you spend your time and identify and identify areas where you can improve efficiency.
18. Don’t break the chain rule
This method involves choosing a task or habit you want to build and then marking it on the calendar each day you complete it. After a while, each marked day on the calendar will create a chain. The goal is never to break that chain.
19. Energy management rule
Energy management is more important that time management. If you read a book for 10 minutes but remembered nothing at the end – then you know what I mean. Keep your energy high by getting enough sleep, exercising regularly and taking time off work.
20. The Zeigarnik effect rule
This rule is based on the principle that states uncompleted tasks stay in our minds until it is completed. To utilize this, start a task then take a break, while you are doing something else your subconscious mind will continue working on it and present a creative solution out of nowhere. Avoid leaving little administrative tasks unfinished – they will waste so much brain energy
21. The Pomodoro technique rule
This rule states that we lose focus on average after 25 minutes. That’s why you should work on one task for 25 minutes and then take a 5-minute break to recharge. Repeat this cycle for four times and then take a 30-minute-long break and then repeat the cycle again – 25 minutes work, 5 minutes rest.
22. Batch processing rule
Batch processing means grouping similar tasks and doing them together. Every task has a startup time, the period it takes to get everything ready and find your focus. When you batch similar tasks together, you only have to go through this process once.
23. The salami slice method rule
This method involves breaking down overwhelming tasks into smaller slices and then committing to work on only one slice. Once you complete one slice, you will often be motivated to do more. This technique is especially great for tasks that you procrastinate on.
24. Outcome visualization rule
Spending time visualizing the desired outcome of your goals. This technique helps in maintaining motivation and clarity about what you are working towards.
25. The Warren Buffett strategy rule
This is also often referred to as 25/5 rule. Write down your top 25 career goals, then circle the top 5 and focus only on them. Avoid the remaining 20 at all costs until the top 5 are accomplished. This method insures focus on your most critical goals.
26. The Feynman technique rule
Enhance your understanding of concepts by studying as if you have to teach them to somebody else. Explaining complex ideas in simple terms ensures deep understanding and clarity.
27. The five whys technique rule
Whenever a problem arises, ask why five times to get to the root cause. Understanding the core issues can prevent recurring problems and save time in the long run.
28. The habit stacking method rule
Develop new habits by stacking them onto existing habits, for example after brushing your teeth (existing habit), immediately do a new habit you want to form. This makes it easier to build new routines
29. Rest and sleep rule.
Sleep is the single most productive thing you can do in a day. Adequate rest can significantly improve your brain function and productivity.
30. Quality time over quantity rule
This applies to family and relationships, especially when it comes to spending time with your kids. It’s not about the total numbers of hours spent together, but the quality of those hours.
31. Say no often rule
Every yes to one thing is a no to another thing, you can’t be everywhere and you can’t be doing everything. Saying yes to a friend’s invitation means saying no to your child.
32. Working blocks rule
Manage your day by dividing it into three parts:
Block number 1 – strategic block – spend at least 3 hours on the most important tasks without interruptions.
Block number 2 – buffer block – for small tasks like emails or calls
Block number 3 – breakout block – to rest and for recovery.
33. Theme your days rule
Theming your days simply means focusing on one activity each day and nothing else. For example – doing all administrative tasks on Mondays or meeting only clients on Fridays.
34. Decision fatigue rule
Minimize the number of decisions you need to make each day, like what to wear or what to eat. This saves you mental energy for more important decisions and tasks.
35. The power of routine rule
Establish a daily routine for all aspects of your life. Have you ever dieted and exercised the whole week but ended up ruining it during the weekend. This happened because we usually don’t have a fixed routine for the weekends. A consistent routing can help to build good habits and reduce the need for willpower.
36. Digital detox rule
Periodically disconnect from digital devices to reduce distractions and mental clutter. This can help you recharge and focus better when you return to work.
37. Respect your future self-rule
Make choices that your future self will thank you for, before making a decision ask if it will help your future self or not. If not don’t do it.
38. The spotlight effect rule
Understand that people are not noticing or judging your every move, just relax and do your thing. This realization can reduce anxiety and free you up to focus more on your tasks and less on other people’s opinions.
39. The Ulysses pact rule
Make a choice in the present that forces you to perform a certain action in the future. Like deleting tik-tok from your phone or setting up an automatic savings system that deducts money from your main account every month and puts it into a savings account.
40. Plan your weeks rule
Before the week begins, plan how you will use your 168 hours. Ensure that your plans align with your long-term goals and priorities.
41.Always carry a notebook with you rule
Your subconscious mind is always working in the background to find a solution to your problems. You never know when the solution will present itself. Solutions that come from the subconscious are the best solutions and they come in the least expected moments. Carry a notebook to capture them.
Bonus Rule: Do your very best to find books, blogs or journals that were written before the advent of ChatGPT as they have more of a real/human approach to topics/issues which means when you read the same you can easily connect and identify the story/article… to whatever you envisioned your life to be or should be. The simple reason is that the articles therein where written by actual humans who (chances are) went through the same life lessons/ dreams/ aspirations/ failures/wins… that you or any normal person goes through. The (author) then decided to transfer the knowledge from ‘mind to paper’ so as to share the wisdom. This blog https://jambujoseph.com/ which was started nearly 15 years ago is such a place – and I encourage you to call it your ‘home of reading’.
And what we do is we put the child into the corridor of this grade system and enroll for the kindergaten. And that’s a great thing because when you finish that you will get into first grade. And first grade leads to second grade and so on and so forth. Then you get out of grade school, you go to high school, then college and the graduate school. And when you are through with graduate school you go out to join the world. And then you get into some racket way of selling insurance or some other rate race. And all that time the thing is coming, it’s coming, that great thing, the success that you have been working for, then when you wake up one day about forty years old, you say My God, I have arrived, I’m there. And you don’t feel very different from what you always felt. And there is a slight let down because you feel like there’s been a hoax. And there was a hoax! A dreadful hoax. They made you miss everything. We thought of life by an analogy with a journey, with a pilgrimage. Which had a serious purpose at the end. The thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is or maybe heaven after your death. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played.
When I speak about knowing my worth, it’s not coming from a place of ego or arrogance. I stand by my positive attributes with conviction, but the difference is I’m conscious of my shortfalls and work on them everyday. When somebody holds a space in my heart, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them. Generosity, patience, and loyalty are traits of mine cherished dearly by those who know me. But I won’t pretend other emotions don’t consume me. Because they do. However, it is my unwavering devotion to give the positivity inside me a stronger voice – one which overrides all. When I say I know my worth, it’s because I’ve done the work to get here. It’s because I continue doing so, I Know what I have to offer. And I stand strong in that fact alone.
The difference between the conscious and the subconscious mind.
The conscious mind is like the captain of a ship. The captain stays on the deck and can see where they are sailing and can control everything. On the other hand, engineers who are responsible for controlling the engines and the other instruments, can’t see what is going on outside the ship. They are inside the ship following orders coming from the captain. The engineers are like the subconscious mind, the engineers do not know where they are going, they simply follow orders. They would go on the rocks if the captain issued wrong orders. They obey the captain because he is in charge, he is supposed to know what he is doing. In the same way your conscious mind is the captain of your ship, your body and your environment.
Your subconscious mind takes the orders you give it based on what your conscious mind believes and accepts as true. It does not question the orders, it doesn’t engage on whether your thoughts are good or bad, true or false. It responds according to the nature of your thoughts. The subconscious mind is like the soil, whatever seed you plant there it will grow. Soil does not say, let me prioritize this apricot seed over another seed and give more nourishment because it will bear fruits one day. It grows whatever you plant there without differentiating what seed you have planted. Your subconscious mind also does not understand a joke, it takes you at your word.
Under hypnosis if a practiced hypnotist holds a cup of water under your nose and tells you that it is a cup full of pepper you will start sneezing or if a hypnotist tells you that you are a cat or dog you will start behaving like a cat or dog. Your subconscious mind does not have the ability to argue or dispute, if you give it wrong information it will accept it as true.
That is why if you repeatedly say to yourself, I can’t afford it, your subconscious mind takes you at your word and as long as you keep on saying I can’t afford that car, that vacation, that home, you can be sure your subconscious mind will follow your orders. You will go through life experiencing the lack of all these things and you will believe that circumstances made it so, it will not occur to you that you have created those circumstances yourself by your own thoughts.
You have a fundamental right to be rich
Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed of your desire to be rich. It is not only good but very good to be rich. When your blood is circulating freely in your body, you are healthy. When money is circulating freely in your life, you are economically healthy. There is nothing wrong with being economically healthy, there is no virtue in poverty, it is an illness like any other mental illness. If you were physically ill you would realize that there is something wrong with you, you would seek help and try to cure the condition at once. In the same way, if you do not have enough money constantly circulating in your life, there is something radically wrong with you. But have you ever thought about what is wrong with you and why you can’t get what you want.
For many people, there are three key reasons; you can also call them emotions that are holding them back from success.
A) Envy
When I was a kid playing with my friends in the neighborhood, we would very often see a young guy driving an expensive car. With my friends we would all look at the car with envy and then say things like, God knows what kind of illegal things this guy did to buy such a luxury car at a young age or why can such arrogant guys drive a luxury car but not us. Basically, we would talk all sorts of envious things behind the guy’s back without even knowing him or what he does. After reading books similar to this one, I completely changed my behavior.
The reason I changed is those entertaining envious thoughts are devastating. It places you in a negative position, therefore wealth flows away from you instead of to you. If you get annoyed or irritated by the prosperity or great wealth of another, then you have pushed wealth away from you. Remember that you lose what you condemn. You cannot attract what you criticize or envy. Would you stay with a girlfriend or boyfriend who constantly criticizes you? Of course, not and neither will wealth. If you have thought envious things about anyone’s wealth. Stop doing it for your own benefit.
The thought you have about the other person is your thought because you are thinking it. Therefore, you actually create in your own experience what you think and feel about the other person. The suggestion you give to another, you give to yourself as well because your mind is the source that created those thoughts. Your subconscious mind records it and plays it back to you. These days when I see a young guy driving a nice car I truly feel happy for him. I feel happy that he is blessed to drive such a nice car, in my mind I wish him the best and thank him for motivating me and showing me what is possible. I say to myself, if he can do it, I can do it as well.
B) You are trying too hard
Suppose you were asked to walk along along a narrow plank that is on the floor, you would do it easily without question. But now suppose the same plank was 50 meters high between two walls, would you still do it? Probably not. Your desire to walk the length of the plant would come into conflict with you imagination, you would imagine falling down. You might very much want to walk across the plank but your fear of falling would keep you from being able to do it. The more effort you put into conquering your imagination, the greater strength is given to the idea of falling. The thought I will use my willpower to overcome my failure leads to failure. It’s like not deciding to think about a green hippo, the decision makes the idea of a green hippo dominate the mind and the subconscious always responds more to the dominant idea and since most of the time the dominant idea is failure, that is exactly what ends up happening.
So, what is the source of the problem here? The problem is that you are trying too hard. Never try to force the subconscious mind to accept your idea by using willpower. Such attempts are doomed to failure, you will get the opposite of what you want. The effortless way is better, you are probably familiar with this situation. You go to an exam and you feel as you know it well, but when you face and exam paper you mind goes blank. All your knowledge of the subject has suddenly disappeared, you can’t recall a single relevant thought, the harder you try, the further the knowledge seems to run. When you leave the exam room, the mental pressure eases and suddenly the answers you were hunting for so desperately a few minutes ago, flow back into your mind. The mistake you made was to try to force yourself to remember. So, what is the solution then. Relaxation. Don’t push yourself so hard to find the solution or look hard for ways to reach your goal. Just know what the end result will look and feel the happiness you would feel if you achieved that goal. Feeling and imagination are the most important factors for the subconscious mind. Your new idea must be felt in a finished state, if you do that then your subconscious mind will work hard to find ways to reach your goal. Your will start getting new ideas, you will start meeting new people and seeing new solutions. It’s super important to be open to new solutions at these times. Sometimes we are so fixated on how the end solution should look like, that we don’t see the perfect solution presented by the subconscious mind, for example…. A few months ago, I had a financial goal to reach, I wanted to make a certain about of money by a certain date so I would visualize my goal and imagine how great I would feel if I earned that much money. For a while, I thought I would make that money through my YouTube channel, so I focused all my attention on the channel, but somehow, I could not get any results. But on the other hand, I was getting great real estate deals. At the time I was not planning to buy a property but somehow, I was being pushed toward real estate. For a while I ignored it because I thought the best way to reach the goal was through my channel and focusing on real estate would push me away from my goal. But after a while the signs got so strong that I had to give it a try, within weeks I found myself buying a new property. Everything went so smoothly and I closed the deal very quickly. The most shocking part is when I was doing the numbers on the deal, the amount of money I was going to make was almost 100% identical to the amount I had on my financial goal and let me tell you it was not a small amount and the difference was just a few dollars. My mind was blown away.
The moral of this story is to explain to you the importance of being open to new solutions when working with the subconscious mind and not getting stuck with one solution that you think is right. It is not your job to know how you will reach the destination, your job is to know where you are going, your subconscious mind will find the best way to get there. Imagine it in this way, when you go to the doctor you first explain what the problem is then listen to the solution right. You don’t suggest solutions to your problem, if you were that smart and knew the solution you would not come to the doctor in the first place. If you have come to the doctor then, sit there and listen to the solution. Finding the solution is the doctor’s job, not yours. In the same way, when you delegate something to your subconscious mind – listen to it and trust it’s power.
C) Fear
I have heard this sentence a lot, I said affirmations and did visualizations but I did not get results. Well, it’s because you probably indulged in fear thoughts, perhaps 10 minutes later and neutralized the good you had affirmed. Imagine you got into a taxi and asked the driver to take you to your home address, but after a few hundred meters you asked the driver to take you to a different address, after a short period you changed the address again. If you keep changing the destination a few hundred meters, the taxi driver will be confused, even if he wanted to follow your instructions – chances are he won’t be able. Where you would end up is anybody’s guess. It’s the same when working with the enormous power of your subconscious mind, you must have a clear idea in your mind, you must arrive at the definite decision that there is a way out, a solution to the problem as I mentioned a few minutes ago. The idea that realizes itself is the one to which we give the most concentrated attention, for example if you have an exam or interview – most of the time you will probably think about failure. As a result, it is a failure that the subconscious mind brings into reality. The fear of failure creates the experience of failure.
Here is a technique for overcoming fear, suppose you are afraid of swimming, begin now to sit still for 5 or 10 minutes four times a day. Put yourself into a state of deep relaxation, now imagine you are swimming, you feel the coolness of the water and the movements of the arms and legs. It is a real vivid and joyous activity of the mind. This is not idle daydreaming. You understand that what you are experiencing in your imagination will be developed in your subconscious mind. You will be forced to express the image you created in your deeper mind. Next time when you swim, it is that joy that will surface, this is the law of the subconscious, you can apply the same technique to other fears such as interviews, exams or public speaking.
How to visualize your goals
The easiest and most obvious way to visualize a goal is to see it in your minds eye as vividly as if it was alive. Now you might ask, is it possible to see things that don’t yet exist and the answer is yes of course. We can see things way before they exist. This is how the computer or the phone you are using right now came into existence, someone saw it before it existed. You have probably heard the saying don’t count your chickens before they hatch, but guess what? We humans can count our chicken’s way before they hatch. Architects do this all the time; they see the building in its complete form before it even existed. It may be an ugly or beautiful building, but it is being first created as a visualization. So, it is possible to see things before they exist. In fact, it would be foolish to start something without visualizing and seeing it first in your mind’s eye. For example, imagine you see a man building something and ask him what he is building and he replies, I have no idea what I am building here, I am putting bricks on top of each other and hoping it would turn up to be something nice. You would probably call the police to take away this crazy man so that he doesn’t harm himself or others.
So, it is not just possible but necessary to visualize and see things before they exist. The best time to visualize your goal is before you go to sleep or after meditation. The reason is when you are in a relaxed and sleepy state, the conflict between the conscious and subconscious mind is reduced. Which means the subconscious mind has an easier time to work on your goals.
Another benefit of visualization before sleep is that you give a task to your subconscious to work on while you sleep. Many people think you get tired during the day and you go to sleep to rest the body. But nothing rests in sleep, your heart, lungs and all your vital organ’s function while you are asleep. If you eat prior to sleep the food is digested. Your nails and hair continue to grow. In the same way your subconscious mind never rests or sleeps, it is always active controlling all your vital forces. You spend one third of your entire life in sleep and many answers to our problems come to us when we are asleep. Many famous people have understood this and used it very effectively to find solutions to the problems they are facing. Nicola Tesla and Albert Einstein are just a few of the many examples.
How to receive guidance from your subconscious
When you have to make a difficult decision or when you fail to see the solution to your problem, begin at once to think constructively about it. If you are fearful and worried, you are not really thinking. True thinking is free from fear, here is a simple technique you can use to receive guidance on any subject;
quiet the mind and still the body – tell the body to relax.
focus your thought on the solution to the problem.
try to solve it with your conscious mind.
think about how happy you would be about the perfect solution.
let you mind play with this mood of happiness in a relaxed way then drop off to sleep.
When you awaken, if you do not have the answer, get busy with something else. While you are preoccupied it is possible that the answer will pop into your mind. You do not always get the answer overnight so keep doing it. Believe that you will have the answer now. Feel the joy of the answer and the way you would feel if you had the perfect answer. Your subconscious will respond to your feelings. Guidance comes as a hunch, an awareness, a strong feeling that urges you to do certain things. Follow these feelings with faith and never doubt it’s power.
In the book there are several great examples, showing how people used this technique to find an answer or solution to their problem. The simplest example is one that happened to the author himself. The author says he used this technique to find his lost ring, after several repetitions one day, he got a hunch that he should ask his neighbor Robert. Didn’t make any sense since Robert was just a kid and there was no way, he would know where the ring was. Despite the hesitation the author asked. Robert said, oh yeah, I found it a few days ago and put it on the table at home. Let me go home and bring it.
How to use the subconscious mind for forgiveness
Life always forgives you. It forgives you when you cut your finger by healing the wound. When you burn your hand, it gives you new skin tissues. Life holds no resentment against you, it always forgives. But we can’t do the same, we feel guilty for years for the things we did in the past. We keep blaming ourselves and feel terrible every time we remember what we did or said. We all have one or two things that we did in the past that we regret and can’t forgive ourselves or others. Maybe you said something to your parents that hurt them a lot or did something to your friends that you shouldn’t have done. Years have passed but you are still feeling terrible.
If what I just described applies to you then this message is for you. Scientists tell us that every single cell in our body is replaced every 11 months, both physically and psychologically. It means that you are reborn every 11 months. The person who did something wrong 11 years ago is literally dead now. If you are still suffering for the things, you did a long time ago, then you are blaming an innocent person.
If you could relive the same event today, would you do and say things as you did years ago? Probably not, right? If that is the case, then wouldn’t it make sense just to forgive yourself and stop suffering for the mistakes of a dead person.
How to use the subconscious mind for healing
If you create a watch and one day that watch stops working, you would know how to fix it right? The subconscious mind is like a watch maker. It created your body and it knows exactly how to heal and restore all the vital functions of your body. Whether you are awake or asleep your subconscious mind controls all the processes of your body without the help of your conscious mind, your heart beats, you breathe etc.
If you were forced to operate your body’s functions with your conscious mind, you will probably die in a few minutes because the process is very complex. The heart lung machine that is used during open heart surgery is one of the wonders of modern medical technology. But what it does is infinitely simpler than what your subconscious mind does 24 hours a day every day. Your conscious mind cannot operate your body but it can get in the way of proper operation.
If you put an ordinary person into the cockpit of a plane, he would not know how to fly the plane, but he would definitely know how to distract the pilot and cause a problem. In a similar way, products of the conscious mind such as worry, anxiety, fear and depression interfere with the normal functioning of the heart, lungs and stomach and cause problems.
Stress creates problems for the harmonious functioning of your subconscious mind. When you feel physically and mentally disturbed, the best thing you can do is to let go, relax and slow down the wheels of your thought processes. Start guarding the door to your conscious mind and like a bodyguard guards the door, carefully watch all the ideas and thoughts trying to enter and only allow the positive ones in.
Feed your subconscious with thoughts of harmony, health and peace. And all the functions on your body will improve. Keep your conscious mind busy with the expectation of the best and your subconscious will produce your habitual thinking. Imagine the happy ending or solution to your problem and feel the thrill of accomplishment. The feeling of health produces health, the feeling of wealth produces wealth.
Keep this in mind at all times – your subconscious accepts what you feel to be true, the dominant idea is always accepted by your subconscious mind. The dominant idea should be health and wealth not poverty or illness.
Rich people put most of their spending power into buying assets (stuff that makes them money over time) instead of liabilities (stuff that costs them money over time).
Instead of buying, for example, a flashy Lamborghini that loses a third of its value as soon as you drive off the lot, a truly rich person will take that same chunk of change and buy a two-family duplex and rent it out.
They don’t care what you think of them or whether you’re impressed. They’re happy to just cash your rent checks and let you pay their mortgage.
2. Have an abundance mindset
So many people have a scarcity mindset — a constant feeling that we’re never going to have enough money, that we’re one slip-up away from disaster and we have to hoard every last cent.
The problem with this mindset is that it can make people very competitive with other folks in similar financial situations. So you have people at the bottom of the pyramid spending all their time and energy fighting each other for resources, instead of trying to overthrow those at the top.
Rich people have an abundance mindset. Since they know they’re going to be able to take care of their bills, they’re not worried. This gives them the freedom to decide what they want to do with their time, rather than only focusing on what they need to do to survive.
3. Think long-term
Rich people understand that sometimes, things take time, and they’re happy to wait. They’re kings and queens of delayed gratification.
A rich person has no problem, for example, socking away money in a retirement account. Yes, the $6,000 they invested in their Government Revenue Account this year is off-limits until they’re 59-and-a-half.
But they know that just because they can’t spend that money now, it’s not like it has disappeared. It’s actually the opposite: the longer they wait, the more money they get later on.
4. Share, swap and scratch each other’s backs
Rich people love being known as the smartest person in their friend group: the one with the best taste, who is on top of all the trends. You’ll often hear them say things like:
“I have this great tax person — you should work with them.”
“I found the best coffee bar — you have to try the latte.”
“I joined the best country club — and I’ll sponsor you to join, too.”
They recognize that when they’re open about their knowledge, other people will be more inclined to share what they know. It is another valuable form of currency, and it’s the same reason rich people love nothing more than putting their besties in positions of power.
Their thought process is: “I’m not qualified for this job, but my friend is, and once she gets it, she’ll owe me a solid. Then, as soon as she’s in a leadership position, I’m automatically tapped into that whole network.”
Yes, it’s because they like to see their friends succeed, but it’s also because they’re thinking strategically — and towards the future.
Follow the above rules and guaranteed your finances will greatly improve.
1.The more important something is to you, the more you want to hold onto it.
We humans don’t like to go out of our comfort zone. Once we find something that we like, we never want to let it go. It does not matter if it is a job, partner or business opportunity. You might have given years of your life to a relationship, but your partner has decided to leave you. You feel terrible and the idea of starting all over again with someone new seems unimaginable. But guess what? You have to move on. You have to look for someone or something else.
Staying at the same state and waiting for the that person or thing to return, analyzing where you made mistakes, or complaining of why it had to happen is not going to help. The fact is that it has ended and the sooner you let go, the sooner you will find someone new.
2. If you don’t change you become extinct.
There are many loyal and hardworking people who work in the same company, in the same job for most of their lives. But one day they come to work and find out that they are fired because industry and technology has changed and their services are no longer needed. They never anticipated that it will happen to them so they didn’t update their skills and not the gap is big that they are afraid to even try learning new things.
Some try to catch up, but most give up.
3. Be constantly informed so that you know when you need to change.
In the above example, the people who got fired forgot to be always be in the loop of current affairs regularly. If they anticipated the change and constantly checked how the industry was changing, they probably would have moved to a different job long time ago. It does not matter what your job or business is right now. You should check it regularly and update your skills or products. You might have many clients and a healthy profit right now but it can all change if you are not on you are not updating yourself.
4. If I moved out sooner, things would have turned out much better for me.
I used to overanalyze things. I’m sure you know this feeling well. You want to do something new and have two or three options. You keep analyzing negatives and positives of each option, you try to imagine what happened in every possible scenario. You read every single article and blog post about it, you discuss it with your friends and one day you realize that three months have passed and you are still analyzing. On the other hand, your competitors or friends have moved on a long time ago and have even started to pick the fruits of their labor. You would be better off if you had made a choice and moved on fast.
Here’s a thing that many people don’t realize when it comes to making a choice. If you can’t decide between two options, it probably means that they are very similar and the difference is minor. If the difference is minor, then why waste so much time on analyzing. Just pick one option that feels right and support it by data and move on. You will correct things along the way and reach your goals faster.
5. What would you do if you were not afraid.
Fear is like an over worried mother who wants you to just sit at home, eat your meal on time and avoid doing sports because you might get hurt. At some point, you need to say no to your mother and take control of your life. Otherwise, you will end up being a man child who lives with the family at the age of 35.
There are many beautiful things beyond fear if you can get past it. I know change looks scary at first, but it is not as scary as your mind makes it look like. Your mind is designed to look for dangers, not for opportunities. Always remember this
The fastest way to get great at speaking English is to make mistakes — tons of them. As long as you understand where you’re going wrong and try something different next time, errors are a language student’s best friend! However, you can’t learn from your mistakes if you don’t know what they are…
No one expects you to have perfect English, but if you absorb the information in this article you’ll sound more natural at some of the trickiest stumbling points. This way, any mistakes you do make will be nice and original!
Common English mistakes (and how to avoid them)
Most English mistakes occur when non-native speakers try to translate phrases directly from their first language. Which mistakes you are prone to make usually depends on your first language and how its grammar and construction differs from English. However, here are some super common stumbling points:
1. Mixing up “lend” and “borrow”
Some people use “borrow” when they actually mean “loan” or “lend.” For example, a non-native speaker might say:
Let’s get you talking
Can you borrow me an eraser?
When what they mean to say is:
Can you loan me a eraser?
In standard English, “to borrow” means to take something from someone, knowing that you will give it back. “To lend” or “to loan” means to pass something on to someone else for a short time.
How to avoid this mistake
Ask yourself “Which direction is this object moving?”
← lend ← [me] ← borrow ←
If an object is moving away from you, you’re lending it
If an object is moving towards you, you’re borrowing it
You can also tell which word it is from the prepositions around it. We lend something to someone, but we borrow something from someone.
2. Confusing “me too” and “me either”
“The difference between ‘me too’ and ‘me either’ is that one is positive, and the other one is negative. The positive one is ‘me too’, so for example, if you say ‘I like traveling’ then I would say ‘me too’ which means ‘I like traveling too.’
On the other hand, if you say ‘I don’t like extreme sports’ then, if I agree with you, I would say ‘me either’ which means ‘I don’t like extreme sports either.’ Not too, either.”
How to avoid this mistake One of the first things you learn in English classes is how to agree with a positive statement by saying “me too.” If you want to agree with a negative statement, you should say “me either” instead. To remember this, learn the trigger words for negative statements, including:
I don’t like…
I hate…
I can’t stand…
3. Saying “congratulations” on someone’s birthday
“When someone has a birthday, you can say happy birthday, you can send good wishes, but in English, you can’t really say ‘congratulations.’ In English, the word ‘congratulations’ is used to praise somebody’s achievement. However, when you have a birthday, it’s just something that happens to you. It’s not really an achievement. This mistake usually comes from translating from your own language into English.”
How to avoid this mistake
Instead of wishing the birthday boy or girl “congratulations”, say “happy birthday!” or “I hope you have a lovely day.” Save “congratulations” for when your English-speaking friends have achieved something more active. For example, if somebody’s getting married, got a job promotion, a new house — then you say ‘congratulations’ because this is something brand new happening in their lives!
More generally, mistakes like this can be avoided if you try to start “thinking in English” rather than translating words directly from your native language.
4. Mixing up “since” and “for”
“I often hear people say ‘I have been living here since three years.’ It’s a shame, because ‘I have been living here’ is a beautiful way to start a sentence, very advanced. However, the final part of this sentence has a mistake! You should say ‘I have been living here for three years.”
How to avoid this mistake
Unfortunately, there’s no magic hack with this one! You just have to learn the two use cases of since and for.
For = the length or the duration of time something has been happening.
I have been a doctor for five years
Since = point when something started happening, which is still happening today.
I have been a doctor since 2016.
5. Saying “eat” rather than “take” for medicine
I have a headache, so I eat some painkillers
But the correct verb to use is:
I have a headache, so I took some painkillers
She explains:
“We use the verb ‘take’ for medicine, pills, tablets vitamins and drugs — including illegal drugs. In English, we don’t use ‘take’ to talk about drinking or eating. We just use it for medication and drugs.”
How to avoid this mistake
Practice! Next time you feel unwell, say the correct version to yourself out loud in English: “I am going to take some medication.” Alternatively, you could try watching an English language TV show set in a hospital, such as Scrubs or Grey’s Anatomy. That way, you’ll hear the correct verb used to talk about medicine all the time!
6. Mixing up “lay” and “lie”
“Lay and lie, I’m not gonna lie, these two little three-letter words are known to have bugged both native and non-native English speakers for over 700 years! So if you feel confused by them, you’re in good company! I say: the best way to understand the differences between lay and lie is to study the difference between transitive and intransitive verbs.”
How to avoid this mistake
There’s no getting around how confusing these two words are! If you’re still stuck, read through this explanation of the difference between laying and lying in bed.
“Lay” means to place something down flat, it is transitive and requires an object to act upon. As in:
He lay down his sword.
“Lie” means to be in a flat position on a surface. “Lie” is intransitive and requires no object to act upon. “Lie” describes something moving on its own into position, or already in position.
I decided to lie down.
Once you understand these definitions and want to make them stick long-term, you can use this mnemonic (memory tool):
LAY —> pLAce
LIE —> recLIne
7. Using “nobody” when they mean “anybody”
“People say ‘I didn’t meet nobody’ but the word nobody would be wrong in this sentence. The correct version is: ‘I didn’t meet anybody.’ Do you know why? Because ‘nobody’ isn’t used in a sentence that already has ‘not’ in it — a sentence that is already negative. If there is already a negative component in a sentence, you do not add another negative to it. You’d say ‘I didn’t meet anybody.”
How to avoid this mistake
Read up on what “double negatives” are in English, and why they are considered incorrect. This tip will also help you overcome mistake #2: confusing “me too” and “me either.”
8. Using “the” when making general statements
“This is an old one, but still a tricky one! Many advanced learners still use the definite article when talking about a plural or uncountable noun. Remember that in English, when we are talking in general, about all of a thing, we don’t use ‘the.’ For example, the sentence ‘life is beautiful’ is correct.
That doesn’t mean we can’t use ‘the’, but when we do, we are being specific and only referring to one thing. For example: “I’m reading about the life of Michael Jackson.”
How to avoid this mistake
Remember that to use a definite article, you must be talking about something definite! Try to memorize a few concrete examples of general statements, for instance:
Life is beautiful
War is horrible
Something that makes me anxious is climate change
9. Using incorrect grammar in positive statements
“Lots of students say ‘I like so much cats!’ I mean, yeah, me too but — this is a mistake. Equally often, students say, ‘I very like cats.’ This one is more common with intermediate speakers. Both of these are mistakes, how do we fix them? Firstly, if you want to use ‘so much’ then that should go after the object. So the correct version is, ‘I like cats so much!’ Otherwise, you should use a modifier instead of ‘very’ — so it would be ‘I really like cats”
How to avoid this mistake
Just remember — it’s rare that you can translate sentences directly from your native language to English. Even if you’re an advanced learner, keeping some template sentences in mind can be a big help. For instance:
I really like pancakes.
I absolutely love pancakes.
I think pancakes are great.
How can I speak English correctly?
Speaking English correctly is a matter of passion and attention to detail. You must get obsessed with the finer points of grammar and the subtle meaning of words. You must also get comfortable with being corrected on your mistakes!
Luckily, as we’ve seen, there are plenty of passionate experts online who can inspire you to polish your English skills to perfection. You can also try conversational lessons with an online tutor, who will give you live feedback on how you can improve and advice on how to phrase sentences more naturally.
Nobody speaks English correctly 100% of the time — least of all native speakers! But by seeking out lists of common errors like this one, you’ve put yourself on track to speak with as much accuracy as possible.
We spend year in school but don’t learn much about it
Here are 7 stoic lessons to you to help you build strong self-discipline and emotional control.
1.The Battle Against Pleasure
The body does not have a mind of its own so you must save it from itself. The body wants to eat until it’s full but it ends up way past that point, the body wants what it wants now. It can deal with the consequences later; we have to be smart and stop it before that happens. If you are stuffed and uncomfortable afterward and when you wake up you are filled with regret and shame the next morning, was it really that great in the first place? Don’t just think about what pleasure you will get, think about what it will take from you. Think about how you think about it afterwards when your pants are too tight or you catch yourself in the mirror wondering how all this happened.
Self-discipline is not about refraining from excess, because it’s considered a sin or morally wrong. Instead it’s about avoiding a life filled with unnecessary suffering and negative consequences that we create for ourselves.
When we give in to every impulse and desire without restraint, we risk creating our own personal hell right here in the present. It’s important to understand that abstinence and restraint are not the same. Abstinence means avoiding something altogether, while restraint is about exercising moderation. Its about knowing how to approach things in a balance and appropriate way based on our bodies. Being disciplined doesn’t mean denying ourselves happiness, it means being responsible and understanding our limits. It’s about knowing when to stop before things get out of control e.g. Its having the strength to leave the table before overeating or enjoying just one drink instead of going for more.
Discipline isn’t a punishment but a way to avoid negative consequences, it’s an expression of self-value. We must prioritize our minds over our bodies and avoid temporary distractions and pleasures.
2.Seek Discomfort
Senica was a rich man with inheritances from his father and successful investments he made across the roman empire. Despite his riches, from time to time he chose to live in discomfort for several days. He would wear rough and old clothes and even sleep on the ground with only a piece of dry bread and water. Seneca took great care to ensure that his experiences of discomfort were genuine and serious. When advising a friend to try this voluntary discomfort he emphasized the importance of eating hard bread and sleeping on a hard piece of wood to make the experience authentic and not just an amusement.
Why did Seneca do this? Seneca knew that most of his fellow citizens, without complaint lived in the same circumstances that he was voluntarily living in for a few days and this was the point. By intentionally subjecting himself to these conditions, he sought to prove that enduring such challenges was possible and actually typical for many of his fellow citizens.
Many of Seneca’s wealthy friends were terrified of living in such conditions which made them anxious and risk averse. By facing these hardships voluntarily, Seneca would say to himself – is this what you were afraid of?
Going through this voluntary hardship helped Senica build perspective and resilience enabling him to face adversity with greater strength, ultimately this practice even saved his life when the emperor Nero became unstable. Seneca offered all his wealth for his freedom; Nero was shocked and couldn’t believe someone would give it all up. In contrast to Seneca’s approach, many of us avoid anything uncomfortable. We believe that success means never struggle and always having what we want at our finger tips. Why be cold when we can turn on the AC, why carry heavy things when someone else can do it for us, why walk when we can drive. We don’t realize how dependent this makes us, it spoils us and creates perfect conditions for failure. It also makes us fearful, we get addicted to our comforts and then we fear losing them. But some people value discomfort, they challenge themselves by running marathons, sleeping on the ground, lifting heavy things or enduring manual labor.
Seeking pain toughens us up and makes us less afraid of challenges. Self-discipline starts with our bodies, but it does not happen automatically. We must expose ourselves to challenges because life will bring severe discomfort someday, we must be prepared. Those who can handle tough time and accept the change are harder to defeat and happier overall. We should be moderate now when times are good because good times never last forever.
3.Quit Being a Slave
Dwight Eisenhower achieved great things in his life, he fought in battles, defeated the Nazis, occupied Germany, wrote his Memoirs and became rich. But in 1949, he faced a new challenge, conquering himself. He had a habit of smoking three to four packs of cigarettes daily for 38 years and he knew it was time to quit. Although it may not seem like a big deal compared to his other accomplishments, anyone who has struggled with addition knows how tough it can be. But Eisenhower had incredible willpower, he decided to quit smoking cold turkey, he said the only way to stop is to stop and he never touched a cigarette again. No one forced him to quit, it was his personal decision. He believed it was his duty to take care of his body and protect his health. By conquering this inner demon he added years to his life with a strong and healthy body he could continue to serve the world. He led NATO and eventually became the president of the United States during a challenging time.
In today’s world we can get hooked on various things like cigarettes, soda, TikTok, Instagram or playing video games. It doesn’t matter if these habits are considered acceptable or not, what’s important is whether they are good for us. Just like Eisenhower smoking habit was harming him slowly, many of our habits may be doing the same without us realizing it. But even if they don’t harm us, why should we let these habits control us? Why should we take orders from our belly?
We should be the boss, neither the body nor the habit can be the boss. Why would you choose to be a slave to your habits? Here’s a simple test; if these things were introduced to you today knowing all the risks and consequences, would you still start using them? Would you still smoke, drink or pursue a lifestyle if you knew it would lead to unhappiness in the long run? Just because you started in the past doesn’t mean you must continue now; you have the power to choose differently. No matter how powerful you are there might be some bad habits that you are struggling with right now but the good news is it’s never too late to beat them. Take inspiration from Eisenhower who quit smoking at the age of 58. What counts is not how long you have had the habit but what you choose to do about it today. Choose to stop now! Choose to stop being a slave!
4.Avoid The Extra
Kato the elder was known for his remarkable frugality, he lived a simple and humble life. Never wearing expensive garments or spending extravagantly. Kato’s philosophy of minimalism extended to his home as well, he lived in a modest house, taking inspiration from his hero Manus. When emissaries were sent to bribe Manus during the height of his power, they found him in his kitchen boiling turnips. His simple lifestyle showed them, he didn’t care about getting rich, he couldn’t be bought with money. Similarly, when Kato was offered expensive gifts, or rewards for his political work, he declined them because when we desire more than we need, we make ourselves vulnerable. Being a little hard on ourselves makes it harder for others to be hard on us. Being strict with ourselves takes away other’s power over us.
Another excellent example on the power of simplicity can be seen in the boxer Rubin Carter. During his unjust imprisonment, he deliberately lived with very few comforts. He didn’t have luxuries like pillows, radio, rugs or T.V which made it difficult for the guards to have any leverage over him. By depriving himself of these amenities, Carter asserted control over his own life and became less vulnerable to manipulation. It can seem like the life of Kato or Rubin Carter is difficult, but in many ways it’s easier, less to worry about, fewer rings to kiss. No one is having less fun than the person who has debtors on the door, or a person who is forced to keep working harder and harder to maintain his luxury lifestyle. In our modern world we often find ourselves surrounded by temptations and the pressure to own more and more. Advertisements and social influences on us can make us believe that we need certain things to be happy.
Ask yourself, haven’t I and humanity survived quite a long time without this? How long did the happiness last the last time you bought the thing you craved for? This new thing you crave will not make you happier either, because the last on didn’t. If you need proof, go check your wardrobe. Think about how happy and content you were with less just a few years ago, do you look back at those younger years and feel bad for having less, probably not. Those were the happy days, you almost miss them now. Things were simpler and cleaner.
Here’s a powerful secret, the less you desire, the richer, freer, and more powerful you become, it’s that simple.
5.Slow Down…..To Go Faster
Octavian became Julius Ceasar’s heir when he was only 18. A year later he promised Rome’s leaders at the Forum, that he would reach the same heights as his adoptive father. Despite his ambitious plans he didn’t hurry, instead he took a slow and careful approach. Learning from his stoic teachers at the Naturus and Arius Didimus. Octavian co-ruled with Mark Anthony for a decade and then led the senate for 5 years before finally becoming Augustus Caesar in 27 BC. His journey to power was slow and intentional. When Octavian took control of Rome, he transformed it from a city of bricks into a grand empire of marble. This transformation did not happen overnight, it required time and attention to many small details.
Octavian approach teaches us the value of disciplined pacing and the importance of getting things done properly. Hustling doesn’t always mean rushing. It’s about getting things done properly and efficiently.
It’s okay to move slowly as long as progress is steady and consistent. We must manage the impulse to rush, both in response to external pressures and our own eagerness to dive into action. While this eagerness is valuable, it needs to be properly channeled. If not managed well, it will quickly turn from an asset into a liability.
6.The Difficult Life Is the Best Life
King George IV was famous for this love of food, he would have a massive breakfast with pigeons, stakes, wine and brandy. Over time he got so fat that he was afraid he might not be able to breathe if he lays down to sleep. Even signing documents became a challenge and he had a stamp made for his signature so that he didn’t have to move much. Despite his responsibilities as a king, he ignored his duties and fathered several children outside of his marriage. He seemed to believe that he was above the rules of health and mortality. He thought his body could endure endless abuse without consequences.
However, his careless lifestyle caught up with him, and on a summer night in 1830 at 3:30am, he faced his death. He was surprised to realize that he was dying and shouted good God what is this. Recognizing it was death, he grabbed the young servant’s hand and said, my boy this is death. It was as if he was shocked to find out that his poor health habits had finally led to his death.
Compared to King George’s self-destructive lifestyle, let’s turn to the inspiring example of president Theodore Roosevelt. Once Theodore told his father not to scold him or he would have Asma and on many nights he did. Despite being born weak and facing health issues like Asma and poor eyesight, he chose a different path. He embraced the difficult life and made physical activity a priority in his life. Encouraged by his father, he engaged in various physical activities like rowing, boxing, wrestling, hiking and football. He believed in pushing himself to be active and energized throughout his life. Even when he became president, he continued his commitment to exercise. Making time for a couple of hours of daily physical activity. Who do you think felt better when they woke up in the morning, the lazy King George or Roosevelt?
Roosevelt example is a powerful reminder that being active and embracing the tough life can lead to achieving great things. We are meant for more that just existing and looking for pleasure. Nature has given us amazing gifts; we are incredibly evolved beings at the top of the food chain. Will you let your abilities waste away. Today many young people can’t join the military because of health or fitness issues. Being careless with our bodies is not a joke, it’s a matter of national security. If we want to be great and productive members of the society, we must take care of our bodies. It’s not just about the gym, it’s also about what we eat and avoiding harmful substances. Our bodies are like high end race cars and we need to fuel them properly. Life is full of problems and tough situations, sometime our work may not go as planned, we might face difficulties, however when it comes to exercising, we have the power to control it. We can choose different activities like swimming, weightlifting, jujitsu or long walks, but the key is to be active. Self-discipline is not about saying no to pleasure, pleasure is the reward for our efforts. Taking care of our bodies, controlling our desires, working hard and exercising is not a punishment. It’s the way we earn the pleasure.
7.Silence Is Strength
The Spartans were known for their courage and strength but they had another impressive quality, they were masters of self-discipline when it came to speaking. They had a way of using a few words to make a big impact. When threatened by powerful enemies, they responded with short powerful words, showing that they were not afraid for instance, when told that Xerys arrows would block out the sun. Leonitis replied, then we shall fight in the shade. When another conqueror threatened to slaughter every single spartan soldier if they breached their walls, the Spartans simply replied with one ‘If’.
They never used two words where one would do, they never used unnecessary words, never overshared and never talked just for the sake of it. They knew that saying less is more powerful than saying a lot. Despite having the power and authority to say whatever they wanted, the Spartans chose to hold their tongues. They didn’t feel the need to prove themselves by talking constantly or engaging in pointless arguments.
Today technology makes it easier to share our opinions and jump into discussions, but the Spartans lesson is to resist that temptation. You don’t have to verbalize every thought or give your opinion every time. Just because there is a pause doesn’t mean you have to fill it. Just because everyone is talking, doesn’t mean you have to jump in.
You can sit with the awkwardness. You can use the silence to your advantage. You can just wait and see. You can answer the question with I don’t know. You can ignore the insult. You can decline the invitation. You can decide not to explain your reasons. Of course, you can do all of these, but will you?
Kato chose to speak only when he was certain his words were not better left unsaid, two ears one mouth. Zeno would remind his students, respect that ratio. Always regret what you didn’t say, not the other way round. Let them wish you talked more!
Editors Note: IntroducingDr. Anesu: A Distinguished Academic;
“DON’T SET yourself on FIRE TO keep OTHERS WARM.”
We are honored to welcome Dr. Anesu, an accomplished academic with a wealth of knowledge and expertise. Dr. Anesu has earned recognition for her outstanding contributions to academia, showcasing a passion for research and a commitment to advancing knowledge in her field.
In this article, titled “New Year and New You?,” Dr. Anesu explores the profound implications of embracing change and personal growth as we embark on a new year. Drawing from her extensive academic background, she skillfully intertwines research findings with practical insights, offering readers a thought-provoking perspective on the potential for transformation in the coming year.
Dr. Anesu’s engaging writing style and ability to convey complex ideas in an accessible manner make her work not only informative but also inspiring. As we delve into the article, we anticipate gaining valuable insights that will empower us to approach the new year with renewed vigor and a commitment to personal development.
Join us in exploring Dr. Anesu’s enlightening take on ushering in the new year as an opportunity for self-discovery and positive change. We are confident that her expertise will provide our readers with a captivating and intellectually enriching experience.
Dr. Anesu here…
Year after year, we usher in the new year with resolutions. These often encompass tasks and ‘to-dos’ that will make us and our lives better. New year’s resolutions can come in a myriad of forms and can be written lists or vision boards. These lists range from the practical to the aspirational, the easily attainable, to downright likely impossible. Likely impossible? Well, never say never, right? However, many of us fail to meet these resolutions, and for those whose birthdays are not on the first of January, we even push resolutions to our birthdays. After all, it’s another new year and a fresh start.
But do new year resolutions have any relevance? Are they worth making and trying to stick to? Well, it depends. I personally believe in goal setting and view resolutions as such. Rather than saying for example, ‘I resolve to go to the gym’, or ‘my resolution this year is to buy a car’, say instead, ‘my goal is to go to the gym’. And when viewed like that, goal setting methods can be applied. I have been pondering what makes people fail to meet their resolutions and three reasons spring to mind as follows:
The type of resolution.
Lack of steps to achieve your resolution.
Difficulty cultivating habits to meet your resolutions.
Now let me unpack how I understand the above reasons.
I have seen various types of goals, ranging from buying a vehicle, going to the gym, finding a new job or starting one’s own business etc. Depending on the state of your finances, the first might actually be aspirational, and not easily attainable without a significant shift in the existing state of things.
The second, getting to the gym is possible with time and a small financial commitment. Additionally, if one cannot afford the gym fees, there are numerous ways of getting exercise, ranging from online classes (think Zumba, aerobics), to running and jogging.
For the last two, which I have seen people mention, time commitment and tenacity are important since it takes a lot of time to tailor a CV to each new job. One also needs emotional strength to accept rejections since many have to send hundreds of CVs to secure an interview, much less the job! The same applies to starting a business. It has its ups and downs. Of course, there are many other resolutions people make and some are quite fun!
The general idea is that you must be practical to meet your goals. Rather than just setting goals, consider how you might go about achieving those goals before setting them. That way, you have a higher chance of success.
Now let us move on to the matter of pathways to achieving your goals. Whatever goals you have set for yourself, you have put in place practical steps to attain them. For instance, if the goal is to make a big purchase or travel, you have to put money aside and start saving. If you must adjust your monthly spending to save, you need the discipline to follow through. I will talk more about discipline further on.
For many people, I imagine, resolutions involve a change in lifestyle, and this might not be obvious at first, or it might be quite daunting when you start. I know people who resolved to drink at least 2 litres of water per day. And while that might seem simple, for those who have not cultivated a habit, it is easy to ply oneself with water at the end of the day, after forgetting to pace oneself through the day. Basically, you have to plan. After all, as they say, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Now let’s talk about cultivating habits and staying the course or should I say discipline, discipline, discipline! To meet your resolutions, you must put in the work. A study showed that it takes on average 66 days to form a new habit (not 21 days or 30 days see https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-does-it-take-to-form-a-habit). However, depending on the habit, it can take between 18 and 254 days.
Taking the average of 66 days, it means that from the 1st of January, your new habit will likely become automatic in March! Yes, 3 months into the year. Some resolutions are hard, whether these involve taking up a new positive habit or dropping a bad one.
In terms of cultivating habits, taking things one step at a time, setting small attainable goals, and celebrating yourself when you achieve a milestone is a good way to go. If you do this, in no time, you will meet your resolutions and be on your way to being the new you as you planned at the start of the year.
Do you make new year’s resolutions? If you do, you can share your resolutions in the comments. Let others know what worked and what did not work. Better still, on December 31, 2024, let us know if you followed through with the resolutions you made. Keep us posted in the comments…
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Josephine Here…
We are already in the third week of the year! How fast days turn into weeks! In a few weeks, you will be closing. How are you feeling about that? I hope you have achieved all that you hoped for this semester.
I was not good at English in primary school and that is an understatement. I used to lead from the back with an E. I looked at a composition I wrote in grade four and I was sure that the teacher just gave me two out of forty for writing my name and probably using a HB brand pencil because the rest of the content was not worth a second glance. I longed for the day I would see the word excellent on one of my exam papers as I would see on some of my classmates and that day finally came!
Cambridge Dictionary defines excellent as extremely good. We would all want to see that word on our papers and that is pretty cool but is that all we should aim at? Being extremely good on paper? Today I would like us to aim at excellence. Which animal is that you ask? Haha…
This means to be consistent in good character, attitude, quality and standards. Wooh all that? Does that sound exhausting? Don’t worry, I will break it down for you in a few lines down. It simply means, to be unapologetically exceptional. Please note that being excellent is not the same as being a perfectionist. A perfectionist wants to get it right all the time which is not only impossible but frustrating. A person of excellence is not afraid to make mistakes because through that, this person learns, and gets to know themselves and their limitations.
However, there is a difference between being excellent in one area of your life and being a person of excellence. I can be an excellent engineer, speaker, writer, entrepreneur and so on but neither of those things makes me an excellent person. Say what now? If I am a person of excellence, it means that I make conscious efforts to be successful in every area of my life. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that I am perfect. We are human beings therefore by definition, we are imperfect creatures. A person of excellence is consistent in his/her personal, social, spiritual and career/study life.
Let us go back to our definition of excellence. Shall we? I don’t know if you are like me, my brain cannot keep big words so I form acronyms to help me remember. Our acronym will be GASQ – Good Character, Attitude, Quality and Standards.
Good character
Some people often get confused by the difference between “having good character” and “being a good person.” There is some overlap between these (many good people also have good character), but in the end, they are two distinct things. It all comes down to a person’s core values and their motivations for acting as they do. In general, people who are considered to have good character often have traits like integrity, honesty, courage, loyalty, fortitude, and other important virtues that promote good behaviour. These character traits define who they are as people and highly influence the choices they make in their lives. Furthermore, a person with good character does the right thing because they believe it is the right thing to do. They don’t act because someone else is influencing or pressuring them to do so, and they don’t do something just because they want to look good in front of others. They take the right action because it is important to them to live life according to their values.
Traits of a good character are:
Dependability – A dependable character makes a good leader, giving others someone reliable they can trust. When working as a group, they support others and can be counted on to do a job and see it to completion.
Kindness: Doing nice things for others without an expectation of anything in return is a good trait that shows an admirable brand of selflessness, setting an example and becoming a role model for others. Do you go out of your way to do things for your classmates?
Empathy: A good character is empathetic—they can relate to those around them. Their ability to put themselves in another’s shoes makes them compassionate, understanding and considerate, qualities that make the character more relatable to the other people.
Courage: Courageousness takes on many forms. A student who is not afraid to go against the grain or speak up for themselves or someone else, facing difficulties head-on, or one who stands up for what they believe or their core values and so on.
Integrity: They do the right thing, exuding enough self-control to make good decisions on behalf of others, regardless of the cost to themselves. They consider the implications of their actions and how they will affect those around them, showing a high level of self-discipline to stay true to their values.
Self-awareness: They are honest about who they are and what they want, however, their humility keeps them grounded and aware of their limitations. They have no qualms about expressing their authentic self and do not let their ego impede their ability to be good.
Affable: An affable character is easy to talk to, and they are always willing to listen. They get along well with others and put them at ease.
Attitude
A good student approaches their responsibilities with a positive attitude and a willingness to learn. The learning journey for students can often be a rigorous and long-drawn process filled with myriad obstacles and challenges. A positive attitude ensures students can navigate through these challenges and emerge as winners who succeed in life. Having a positive attitude means that you are ready and willing to study the subjects that you like less.
Standards
I’ve noticed that it can be easier to hold people to high standards when they are being paid for their work. However, it can be more challenging when there is no monetary incentive. Your high standards should not be selective, regardless of your environment, whether you are in a paid or free position. Nevertheless, it’s essential to strive for high standards in every aspect of life, no matter how insignificant it may seem. And this also borders on wherever you find yourself, whether paid or free. We all have room for growth and improvement, and personal evaluation is critical to achieving and maintaining high standards. By being intentional about evaluating ourselves, we can identify areas where we need to improve and continuously work towards being our best selves. Holding oneself to high standards not only benefits oneself but also those around us. For instance, arriving late to a group meeting can disrupt others’ schedules, so it’s crucial to communicate any delays and strive to be punctual. High standards are not about perfection, but about striving for excellence in everything we do. When we hold ourselves to high standards, we create a positive impact on ourselves and those around us
Quality
The approach to studying as well as possible and performing to the highest of standards. When you are given assignments, do you prepare well? Do you ensure that you have done your work well – checking for spelling mistakes, and grammar and researching more on the given topics? People admire people who know their work and their subjects, who do things well, who take care of details irrespective of particular intellectual abilities.
I mentioned that I was really poor in English right? I must admit that I was also doing a really pathetic job at excellence. We have seen that excellence has to be all round. My friend and I at the time would spend time laughing at teachers who had very peculiar accents which is a pretty bad habit, we were young and ignorant, I never used to finish my assignments, I would hang around classmates who were labelled as rebels and my spiritual life was totally non-existent. This led to my failing and falling flat on my face at the end of the term which would have translated to my re-doing that class. That! was my wake-up call. I had to re-adjust and quit a number of habits. I started reading like five story books a day, (I am not saying that this is the way to excellence this was just my way), I built a better relationship with my creator, I got better friends who would challenge me to be better, I also stopped laughing at teachers, (I became more compassionate) I started becoming more aware of other people’s needs and finding ways to help and so on. When excellence builds in one area and you are consistent in focused it will definitely translate in all the others. My grades improved from an E to an A. Please note that, that did not just happen, I had to put in the work. I am not perfect. I fail many times but the secret is getting back up again.
Part of excellence comes from doing things with human perfection, putting intensity into our work and finishing things well. Aristotle used to say that, happiness comes from the full use of our powers along the line of excellence. Therefore, details in our work are important, doing things on time, starting on time, finishing on time, taking pride in our work and having rectitude of intention, (the why you are doing what you are doing) going out of ourselves to produce a masterpiece. Martin Luther King said, “that each man called to be a street sweeper should sweep streets as Michelangelo painted, as Beethoven composed music and as Shakespeare wrote poetry.” Are you striving for excellence as a student, as a daughter or son?
Manage your time by well by splitting your day into blocks.
It takes approximately 15minutes to get back to your tasks when you are stopped to check emails or text messages. On average 28% of employees days are spent managing interruptions and refocusing on what they are doing. In a 40 hour work week that is 11 hours of time wasted.
That is why it’s advisable to separate your day into three blocks.
Block Number 1. Strategic Block
This is the time block when you work on strategic tasks minimum 3 hours, no emails, no talking to colleagues, no daydreaming about what you are going to eat for lunch.
Block Number 2. Buffer Block
The purpose of this block is to handle those small tasks such as email or calling your dad e.t.c
Block Number 3. Break Out Block
Success is not about working hard all the time, you must allow your mind to rest and recharge so that you can always work at your full capacity and focus.
Tip number 2.
Work life balance is a lie.
You struggle to find a balance between work, family, friends, health and personal time so you decide to give equal time and energy to each of them.
The problem is that when you do that you over extend and become frustrated. Success can’t be achieved by balancing your time in each area of your life.
Success happens when you intentionally create an imbalance and direct the time and energy towards one or two areas of your life.
Different moments in life will require different amounts of energy and there is nothing wrong with that. The purpose of intentional imbalance is to put your energy where you want it to go.
Tip number 3.
Avoid having too many goals.
Having too many goals means having too many strategies and obstacles. They will quickly drain your energy and will make you give up.
Tip number 4.
Create a routine.
Your execution will suffer a lot if you do not form a routine.
You need a routine for everything, from your sleep, to the time you work or study.
Tip number 5.
Create your model week.
Your model week is kind of like your perfect scenario where you get everything done.
Once you start designing your model week you will quickly be able to say if your plan is realistic or not. If your plan isn’t realistic, you will not be able to find some space on your weekly calendar to put some of the tasks.
Make sure to do this before you start your week one.
Tip number 6.
Avoid focusing on tasks that involve your weaknesses.
Most tasks that you are working on should be based on your strengths, not your weaknesses.
Tip number 7.
You are allowed to say NO, when someone invites you somewhere or someone asks you to commit to something. Say No as often as you can.
Tip number 8.
Don’t multitask. When you spread your attention too thin, over multiple directions. You are not fully applying yourself to any tasks, you are overworked and tired.
Burnout is a likely result and in the end you haven’t mastered anything, you have just become mediocre at several things.
Tip number 9.
Some tasks will not get done and it is okay. Many people believe they can do it all and work day and night to catch up with everything on their plate.
They focus on what they can do quickly to get it out of the way, which puts their strategic tasks in danger. Some tasks will eventually fall through the cracks and it is okay. However those tasks should never be the strategic ones.
Tip number 10.
Celebrate. Even if you did not reach your goals, you still have three more chances and you probably made tons of progress. So celebrate and start and start again.
Discover you purpose in life. Find something that makes you wake up each day, aligning with your talents, passions, profession, and contribution to this world. Your purpose fuels you.
2.Continuous Improvement
Focus on small improvements each day instead of trying to do everything at once. Make progress little by little, sometimes involving others.
3.Pomodoro Technique
Work for 25 minutes without distractions, take a break for 5 minutes, and then repeat. It’s a great way to get more done in less time.
4.Eat Until You’re 80% full
Eat slowly and not to stuff yourself. When you’re 80% full, you’ll feel satisfied. Also increases your energy levels and improves mood.
5.Beginners Mind
Approach every task like a beginner with the same curiosity as if you were doing it for the first time, from work to relationships to personal growth.
6.Beauty Of Imperfection
Embrace imperfection. Instead of stressing over every detail, focus on what’s important and find beauty in simplicity. Taking actin is better than waiting for perfection.
7.Finances
Make a budget and track your expenses and cultivate mindful spending habits. Set financial goals and work towards it. Necessity is the mother of all invention.
